Friday, January 16, 2009

PT Camp day #3 - I mean - ROAD TRIP

So, had to do a quickie little road trip to Burley Idaho for work, thus missing out on day #3 of PT camp. Trust me, I still totally worked out at the hotel. All alone. On a treadmill. All alone. By myself. waahhhhhh
It all started when I picked up my work BFF Jamie

this is me in my new rockin, I mean, dorky shades.
We headed on our way armed with our Mapquest directions to our hotel. Now, I have only been to Burley once, on the way to Boise, and it was just to potty. So this was a completely foreign experience for me.
Got to town and promptly proceeded to read our Mapquest directions to the hotel. NO. No hotel, no street coordinates as outlined on the Mapquest. To cut a long story short, we drove all over that stupid town from one end to the other looking for a. our hotel or b. the street coordinates listed on the now STUPID Mapquest.
During the course of which we did see some amusing things like this:

We finally broke down and stopped at a gas station to ask directions. Of course in Idaho, you can play the lottery, so we grabbed a couple scratch off cards and had our original beliefs reaffirmed - we are LOSER'S.
BUT, in the course of all this at said gas station we got directions to our hotel and as we pulled in the parking lot, we were actually quite pleasantly surprised. Got situated and then met a couple of other Intermountain co-workers for dinner. The hotel front desk recommended Stevo's. Her directions for finding the place? "Go back over the bridge to the tractor place and it's right across the street." Niiiiiiice.
We pull up and it looks like it might have been a 7-11 in it's previous life.

Dinner was actually good, I splurged and ordered the filet mignon, however, I'm not sure that's exactly what it was. At any rate, it was enough food to quiet the inner beast. Had a great time chatting and found that these particular IHC co-horts are DE-LIGHT-FUL!!

l-r Jill, Jenny, me, Jamie
We then headed back to our lovely hotel to call it a night.
After my VERY lonely am workout (no one to harass, mock or giggle with), we met early for breakfast and then headed to the hospital (yes, they have one) for our training/conversion fun. However, had to make a quickie stop at the gas station. I had forgotten to pack my Crystal Light thus no caffeine was heading for my veins at the moment. Found this little number to kick me up.

Appropriately named Bad Girl - I found it to taste nasty but within about 20 minutes - whoo baby- soaring! Who needs meth? Really?
We pulled up to the hospital and NO KIDDING, there were maybe 5 cars in the parking lot. The place looked like it had closed right down. Really? This is a hospital? REALLY?!?! Hmmmm, okay, well, maybe they don't need to provide servies 24/7. Maybe things are different here in Burley, ID. Maybe people only need health care services during the daylight. Who knew?

A cute little volunteer at the front desk (who I think we might have woken up), showed us to our "training room". In the cafeteria. Yes, the cafeteria. You just pulled a curtain to seperate. Niiiiiiice. But hey, they were wireless, I could connect the laptop and get to work. All's good.
Jamie, the awesome trainer that she is, got the training period done right on schedule. Jill, the awesome schedule converter that she is, helped me get the schedules in quickly and before we knew it, we were DONE!
Now, where for lunch before heading home? No to Stevo's. Been there, done that.
Jill knows a GREAT place. But, little problem, it's in a CHEESE FACTORY!!!! What the?!?! Jill, darling, let me explain to you that the mere smell of cheese or even sometimes, LOOKING at cheese is enough to make me throw up a little in my mouth. I am assured, the food is great, I go along, not wanting to be the pooper in the party. And truth be told, there weren't many other options to choose from.
I held my breath while we walked through the cheese area, and up the stairs to the restaurant.
Okay, WOW - impressed. Nice little shop at the top! GREAT sandwiches! Great soup! Great cookie!
Time to go, the girls want to wander the lower section and check out the cheese and other assorted items for sale.

me - gagging
The last thing we saw was an ice-cream offering at the front of the store. MMMMMM ice cream. Yeah, let's go for it. I get a kiddie cone of what was advertised as Burnt Almond Fudge. OH MY GOSH!!! It was the worst thing I have ever put into my mouth!!! What the crap! This is no Burnt Almond Fudge ice cream. This is.....this is.... I don't know what this is, but it tastes like sour milk with CHEESE in it! I think those jerks snuck cheese into my ice cream! I walk out and beg someone to please take it. No one wants it. No garbage cans. I had to sneakily just leave it in the parking lot (biodegradeble right?)
UUGGGHH, now I have sour milk or something rotten taste in my mouth. Judas! Slug more water down attempting to get rid of the nastiness. Failing. Thinking, this is going to be a long ride home.
Head out on the highway. Driving about 30 minutes or so and happen to notice that the sign says East 86. Huh? wha?? We are supposed to be on East 84. We started on East 84, how did this turn into East 86?? Huh? wha?? Keep going, trying to see anything that looked familiar from the day before. Nope. Mmmmmm. Another 20 minutes, we realize it. TOTALLY ON THE WRONG ROAD!!! We are not going east so much anymore but NORTH! CRAP! We are going to end up in Montana for crying out loud!!
Quick call Martha, she knows Idaho, she can help us. No answer in the training room. Call her desk. No answer. Call Splenda Daddy to ask him to google where we are at and tell us how to get home. No answer. Call Tiburon thinking she can just jump right on her computer. Nope she is at the dentist. Gives us her Big Daddy's number to call. Quick, memorize this Jamie! Dial, crap, we are roaming, need the area code. What was that number again? Finally, get the Big Daddy. And, helpful man that he is, demands I compliment the Red Sox before helping me. WHAT?!?! Dude I am having a little freak out, and you want me to go all sacriligeous and blasphemous right now? He relents, googles our coordinates and give us the help. Seems that we aren't going to end up in Montana, instead, just a slight hour detour through Pocatello, and then back to the regular interstate. Crap. Now I will miss the Thursday Trifecta at the gym. Oh well, what can ya do? But a HUGE thank you to Big Daddy for his help!
Fortunately the rest of the ride home was uneventful, and we made it safe and sound, albeit it about an hour later than we would have.

Lessons learned from this partiular road trip?
1. MapQuest is NEVER to be trusted. They suck. Rocks.
2. Jamie is truly one of the best traveling companions ever. Same schedule, same likes/dislikes, and we can talk FOREVER!
3. Don't order "filet mignon" in a place that only seats 60 and used to be a 7-11. And for SURE, don't pay 25.00 for it (sorry IHC).
4. If in an emergency, don't seek help at Cassia hospital. I think your odds are better to go ahead and drive the 2 hours to Logan. Just.saying.
5. NEVER trust anything from a cheese factory. Just because they call it ice-cream and just because they say it is to be a chocolatey goodness. DO NOT TRUST THEM! They "sit on a throne of lies!"
6. And finally, PAY ATTENTION WHEN DRIVING! You will miss the exit to the correct highway if you are too busy talking and not paying attention.

Somehow, I wish I could have just stayed home and been tortured in PT camp. I think I would have liked that better.


Martha H. said...

I'm sorry, but I am totally ROFL right now because I actually understood the directions to Stevo's. It's down by where my dad grew up and my grandma lived most of her born days.

I've never been to the cheese factory there, though.

My SIL, Carrie, used to be an RN at the ER there at Cassia Memorial.
My nephew Chase was born there, my grandpa died there. ahhh...memories.

I'm also cracking up because my brother Jeff missed the turn off to Ogden, too, recently. good times, good times. Sorry I didn't hear the phone.

You should've called my cell, only to have me tell you that you missed the junction and were now headed for Pocatello.

I'm sorry it was such a fiasco. You totally should've gone to visit both of my grandmas. I'm sure they would've fed you something decent.

::Jan:: said...

That is a funny road trip. I have relatives in Burley and my dad was born in Rupert. You should have called me.

You will never forget this trip. Ever. But I am off now to try and find some of those girl shots. I need one. I am off ice cream for good now. You made it seem like stinky cheese to me now :)

Karen said...

Love the recap of the beloved trip. You are hysterical! I was just headed to get a huge-o Diet Coke but maybe I really need to find a Bad Girl! Did you stock up on those babies?

tammy said...

Well, that answers my previous question about what's wrong with Burley.

Karen said...

Love the new sunglasses. Hee hee But hey, they aren't as bad as those ones Kroll used to wear. Much more fasionable.

Love the recap of your road trip. You are hysterical!!

I was just headed to get a huge-o Diet Coke, maybe I should see if the cafeteria carries Bad Girls. Probably not, darn it. Did you stock up on those puppies? Can you pimp me out some Bad Girls?

Jamie Schwobe said...


debilyn said...

Road Trips Rule!!!

jenjen said...

You are so funny!!! I loved reading your post. What a fun trip. I have been to Burley a few times on my way to my sister's house in Boise. Not the most sophisticated place in the world. And what was that stuff in the pink bottle you drank? Wow!

Thanks for the laugh!


nikkicrumpet said...

I didn't know it was possible to screw up icecream!!! Glad you evenutally made it back safe and sound.

Vanessa said...

Is Burley that big that you couldn't find your hotel?

Now you know why I moved out of Idaho.

tiburon said...

I am so glad you are back - and I am really sorry that my hubs was such a butt - but glad he saved you.

No more traveling. Ever.