Thursday, December 31, 2009

Slang Gang Word of the day

December 30: Amazonukkah

When Christmas really lasts 8 days because the presents take longer to deliver from than anticipated by the purchaser. This is often caused by the reckless use of Super Saver Shipping on items which were bought on Christmas Eve. As a result, the presents are received in small amounts each day over an 8 day period, similar to Hanukkah.

Kid 1: Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?

Kid 2: I dunno, we're celebrating Amazonukkah this year. My parents are real procrastinators.

**Still waiting for the dude in brown to bring more boxes myself!**

Addendum to the Splenda's BD

Thanks BIL for sending me this pic.

circa about 1970 - thinking it's Splenda's 8th BD or so......

He's the cute one up front with the REALLY BIG watch!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Happy Birthday Splenda Daddy!

On this date back in 1962 (yep, he's old), I'm sure Splenda's daddy was clapping his hands with glee for the tax break that just occurred. AND for his newest son to add to his posterity.

It's rough having a birthday right between Christmas and New Year's. It's easy to combine presents or to overlook the BD completely, what with all the other celebrating going on.

We've tried to always keep his special day separate. No Christmas wrapping. No combined presents. And definitely a different sort of party.

This year was a little low-key. We, and when I say we I mean he, is busy with final home preparations for Elder L. We are kinda thinking he might need his room scoured, dusted, cleaned out for one last time before he comes home to roost for awhile. Splenda wanted to paint. So, by his own choice, that is what he spent his day doing.

We did sneak out long enough to go to dinner, but again, nothing fancy, we'll do that when he has ALL his sons here.

I asked Splenda if, when he was younger, he ever thought his life would be like it is now. Poor dude didn't have a clue.

He spent his young and teen years playing. Baseball, basketball, riding motorcycles and skiing. I tried to find some pic's when he was young.

One of 7 children, his dad worked two, sometimes three jobs to keep the family going. Mom raised the kids, and did a flower business from her home. He being a middle child, was by all accounts fairly easy. Easy going, peacemaker and more than anything SHY.

One of the first things I learned about Splenda was his shyness. His Mom told me that up until he was about 6 or so, he was fairly outgoing and had lots of friends. He did however, have an ARM! Kid could throw like you wouldn't believe. He hucked a rock at a girl and didn't get invited her to birthday party. That's when his mom noticed the shyness take hold.

Speaking of an arm. Their home was in a newly developed area. He was throwing dirt clods at the house behind theirs when he struck a window and broke it. As punishment, not only did his Mom let the police scare him, she then took him to an empty field and made him throw rocks until his arm ached. She's a clever one that mom of his!

Speaking of shyness. He remembers playing baseball, and with his good arm, and quick feet, he made an excellent centerfieldman. He remembers catching a very important fly ball, throwing it in, and then all he could see was the grass while he heard all the cheers. He was too shy to lift his head.

He made it through school with his small, tight circle of friends, and then worked while trying to decide what he wanted to do when he met me. (and if you laugh at this picture, you will have 7 years of bad luck. For reals)

Life as he knew it was over. A new chapter had begun, which did NOT include shyness. I'll save the other stories for another post, but for now......

Happy Birthday Splenda! You make my world go 'round and I can't think of another person I would rather grow old with!



Monday, December 28, 2009

Monday Missionary Update

I cannot believe it's our last email from Chile. Our very last. Not gonna lie, a little bittersweet. Of course much more sweet than bitter, but still.......

Subject: Re: Our last email

Hello!!! Thanks for the email or I should say, last email. It was great to hear from you guys, I am so happy to see you guys this Friday and to be able to come home. I actually just have 2 days left, today and tomorrow then Wed, in the morning I go to Osorno. That is so weird. THANKS SOOO MUCH for depositing the money I really needed it. I will get some AWESOME souvenirs!!! I love you so much and am way excited to see you guys!!!! thanks for all that you guys have done for me. There is lots to tell but I will tel you Friday. Love you!!

Love Elder Catmull

Early this morning I got a call from the office in Osorno. It was another missionary calling on behalf of Elder L to let us know he was out of money and needed more. For a minute I about had a heart attack thinking that they were calling to tell me something had happened to him. Just money? Yeah, I can handle that. Crisis swiftly dealt with and now just to get through the next couple of days.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

A pooping pig - Christmas style....

the gift that just keeps giving.....

and if you don't believe me......

Slang Gang Word of the day

December 26: Jingle Bowels

Gastrointestinal woes following a night of holiday overindulgence

Someone spiked the eggnog and Justin spent copious porcelain time after waking up with a wicked case of the Jingle Bowels.

**Also known to occur after too much fudge, candy, toffee and other assorted Christmas goodies. Excuse me now.....gotta run!**

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas 2009 from Splenda Daddy

The big reveal......

Let me preface by saying, that I really truly have the best husband in the whole wide world. For reals. No lie.

We have been together for 26 years (November 6th, 1983 is the day we met), and he has done nothing but treat me like a queen. Better than I ever deserve. If I wished it, he would make it happen.

You need a car cause yours is piece of crap and we can't keep it running? Drive my other one. Sure it's a completely restored 1969 Mustang Fastback, and your friends at school can't believe I am letting you, but go ahead honey, you drive it.

You want a fur coat because they are all the rage right now? It was a beautiful faux gray rabbit fur.

You've always wanted an Afghan Hound dog? Her name was Princess and we loved her.

And then we got married. I joked that he had to marry me because he would take a loss on his investment.
Of course, as with many a young married couple, we had our lean years. Very lean years. Years that our big splurge was a frozen pizza for Sunday football watching. Or our big night out, was to dinner at the Wendy's salad bar.

Now, in our stage of life, and after his careful diligence we can finally allow ourselves a few indulgences. And I must say, he still treats me like a queen.

You want to see Yankee stadium before they tear it down? That trip to NY was a memory of a lifetime. I cried when I walked into the stadium.

You've been my wife for 25 years? A beautiful diamond necklace you shall have.
The list could go on and on.....

This year I mentioned I only wanted one thing for Christmas. For the room that I have been planning on, saying I would do, would actually get done.

Friends, I welcome you to my own little New York Yankees clubhouse:

The last blank wall has a collage of posters and pictures, just waiting on frames. It's gonna be cool though. I can't wait to post those. Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. Reggie Jackson. Derek Jeter. The old Stadium. Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera. This year's World Series Celebration. It's freaking awesome. And if you have ever been to the original stadium, this is how the concourse was painted. Yankee blue on the top half and the pinstripes down the bottom. The room is more than I could have ever imagined. In addition to the frames we are waiting on, I also have some NY bedding coming in the mail.

As I watched him over the past couple of weeks take on this HUMONGOUS project, I have realized how much more I love this dude. He treats me better than I deserve, he shows more love and respect to me than I could ever repay him. Each time I walk down the hall and I see my room, I get goosebumps. Not just the NY logo that does it for me, but because of what went into the room. Him. Splenda. My whole freaking world. That room represents how much he loves me. It just doesn't get any better than this.

To quote a Yankee icon (with one word changed):

"Yet today I consider myself the luckiest woman on the face of this earth."

Lou Gehrig 1903 - 1941

1st basemen, jersey 4

Thank you so much Splenda Daddy!
Merry Christmas

Christmas Night 2009 - round 1

Tradition dictates that we host a family dinner for Splenda's side. I keep it very casual. We provide everything, we just like for family to show up, kick back, relax, visit and enjoy some easy going down time.

Our only stipulation was that we were blessing the food at 5pm regardless of who was there. Of course, it's open house, so no obligation as to what time anyone needed to come.

At 5:01pm, Splenda and I said the prayer and loaded our plates to sit and look at each other. It was very quiet.

Within minutes, everyone started to trickle in and while I didn't get a lot of great photos...we did capture a few.

The whole gang for this year.

(l-r: Splenda, Tuffy, Granda J, S, B, Me, Jordan, S, S and S

Add in SIL J

Picture of someone taking a picture

Jordan doing what she did all day. Looking for any little bit of food of any sort that might have dropped. She didn't starve.
BIL's and Nephew

It was a nice evening to visit, and even nicer to clean everything up, put things back in place and head for bed.

Christmas Day 2009 - THE CALL!

Right's less than 7 days until he's home. One more email. That's it. I can hardly frickin wait!

Christmas morning 2009 - round 1; part 2

Christmas morning tradition is my fam, at my house for breakfast.
Lot's of people, food, jammie comparing and basically a form of controlled chaos.

The traditional green eggs and ham (Sam I Am)

Sharing Sissy's cool toys

And cute little girls stuffing their cheeks with chocolate muffins!

Christmas morning 2009 - round 1; part 1

Christmas morning was all about Sissy.
I was able to get two whole pictures and some video before my memory card was full.

This is the fun I remember! Now, if I had only remembered to check my memory card last night!

Christmas Eve 2009 - Round 1

Tradition has it that we congregate at my brother's house for soup and breadbowls. So we do. Every year. My side, and my SIL's side together. The numbers vary from year to year depending on who's in jail or who's on house arrest. JUST KIDDING! (or not).

After eating, we play the funnest white elephant gift game. SERIOUS GAG GIFTS PEOPLE! This year did not disappoint. I am the proud owner of a pig that poops candy. Oh yes, he does. More to come on him later as he also sings and squeals while doing so.

We are a bunch of rather obnoxious, but hysterical people. I'm just missing the picture of the Santa Cookie jar wearing the Victoria Secret panties. Jen?.......

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Hair Crisis remedied.....sorta

So Sissy's Mom called this morning asking if we could take her somewhere and see if anyone could do anything with the mess that got created with her hair.
We went here

They were quite dismayed at the challenge presented them, but after some brainstorming amongst the experts and Mom, they came up with a doable solution.

First, Sissy chose a video to watch and a car to sit in.

Got her hair sprayed down and wet so the cutting could begin (note, the professional had NOT started cutting, do you see what has happened here?)

Finish it up with some styling

Her first look at herself. Not sure if this is going to be a winner or not.

But after choosing some hair bows and candy, things looked much brighter!

Final lesson of the day? If someone NOT at the Cookie Cutters comes at with you scissors......Scream NO and run far, far away!

Missionary Update.....Merry Christmas Eve


Hey how are you guys doing!!! Merry Christmas EVE!!!! Here honestly does not feel like Christmas Eve at all. I mean, everyone celebrates Christmas, but it is not the same at all. I will tell you on the phone all of the details. Well sorry for not telling you guys about the PDAY change, I totally forgot. But just to confirm, you guys did call the right number cause the mamita told me that someone called from the US and tried to talk haha it was funny. Sorry we are good to go tomorrow at 4 a clock, consider it good to go. AH and to answer the question about the garments thing mom. I actually kinda want difirent ones than I have, but just a couple. I have a lot of lost ones, un matched pars and so I will need some new ones. My size is 32 S for the bottoms. I t would also be cool if for the tops I could get some that have the low neck and that are extra smalls, and the others that are just the t shirt. But that is about it. Just so you know, I will be coming home with very little clothes…… Literaly…..haha just kidding. Well I will not send you guys a long email, just for the fact that we are going to talk tomorrow. I am going to send a voice recording of last night. I hope that you guys enjoy it. I love you guys so much. Okay and just to confirm, tomorrow, the 25th at 4pm chile time. I love you guys soooo much!! Talk to you soon!!
Elder Catmull

Just a few more days!

An open letter to the crazy woman wielding the scissors

Dear bat-shiz cukoo loon,

Please don't ever take it upon yourself to cut someone else's child's hair. Then when you have butchered it and her mother is crying, please don't have the audacity to laugh, tell her to get over it and then say it's "cute". It's not. It's freaking fugly and how dare you do this to a sweet, trusting, little girl.

Let's not even discuss the fact that it is two days before Christmas, and a week before her Uncle comes to home. And what about the fact that Sissy likes to put pretty dresses on and twirl? Yeah, baby girl, sorry that your beautiful curly locks won't be twirling with you because of this dumb-A woman.

You may take no pride in making yourself presentable, but guess what? The rest of the world generally does. At least folks like us who AREN'T completely insane.
I'ts prolly a good thing you rarely venture from the inner sanctum of your bedroom, because if we had the misfortune of ever meeting again, I would likely slap you silly, cut YOUR hair in some atrocious, un-even fashion, laugh and tell you it was cute.
Merry effing Christmas you crazy moron......

A sobbing, sad Mimi



(I know - right?)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

PS.... I Love You

The first Sunday in December our Young Women's counselor taught a beautiful Christmas lesson. Before she started the lesson however, she passed out gift tags and asked us to write our names on them and pass them back.

As she closed her lesson and stressed the importance of love and giving during this season, she explained the gift tag. As each one of us left, we would be given a tag with someone else's name on it.

During the month, before Christmas, we were to find a way to show love, service or a gift of some sort for that person, with an emphasis on NOT spending money. Girls were given tags of other girls and leaders were given tags of other leaders.

This morning there was a knock at the door and a young man handed my son a friendly neighbor gift and then mentioned that he had found something on the porch.

The something was this:

My name tag attached.
Inside were individual love notes from every girl and leader in our Young Women's group. To me.

I started reading them, and then started bawling. Tuffy was watching me and knew better than to start seriously mocking me. These notes were sincere, tender and unique in each of their messages. I was touched beyond words.

I suspect who my secret little santa leader was and if she happens to read this, I want her to know how much it meant to me. And to my Young Women and other leaders - you are simply the best and I love you, love you, love you.

Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Funny Bone Friday - Things I may have heard, or said, or just thought in my head

I'm growing a whole bushel here

I hate it when I get the wrong meat.

I don't touch your knobs, you don't touch mine.

A day when we don't talk about hair is a good day for me.

Um, no....she didn't choose Hallejuh from the Messiah. Remember? She's.a.Wiccan.

This is what happens when you get sober and cleaned up.

I can make my own at home with a roll of duct tape and a stick.

Don't look at me with that tone of voice.

Bishop, please release me, I've fallen behind on my blog.

What do Stevie Wonder and J's mom have in common? The would both give the same hair cut.

For Chipmunks, they were pretty hot.

Me whispering "I can't sleep"
Splenda not whispering back "Well I can, so zip it yappy"

Splenda whispering "Man your legs are hairy."
Me not whispering back "That's Jordan beneath the covers, you dork."

Friends are what make the world go 'round

I prolly have mentioned a time or two about my Bonco group. I KNOW YOU OTHER PEOPLE SPELL IT BUNKO - LAY.OFF.ME.MAN!

We started it about 17 years ago, and after the first year we got bored of playing the game so we just get together once a month for dinner or something fun. I wish I had started a blog clear back then, you would have gotten a kick out of some of our adventures.

We have a traditional Christmas party. Usually at DD's house. But it caught fire a few weeks ago, so WC kindly offered her place.
We order out, talk, laugh, and play a silly white elephant game. Having been together for 17 years, we have LOTS to talk and laugh about. We've had kids on missions, kids get married, grandbabies, one couple got divorced - they don't hang out anymore, parents die, grandbabies die, friends move, houses burn down..... you name it, we've gone through it. Together. They are some of my bestest besties and will be forever. To infinity and beyond.

S and D the B's - wearing their super duper hats that just keep coming back year after year.

D and R the D's -

J and D - the D's

V and W - the C's

Splenda and me with our super, great, totally awesome prizes. Not that they'll show up in another white elephant game this year. What do you think I am a re-gifter? Ab-so-frickin-lutely!

To my bestest BONCO besties - I love you!