Wednesday, December 17, 2008

11 Minutes of Casual Work Conversation - or How to Sexually Harass your co-workers

Prepare yourselves- a REAL LIVE instant messaging conversation from a REAL LIVE workplace (the names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
A glimpse into the world of hard working women....
SH Queen [2:14 PM]:
Are you still there?
Giggler [2:14 PM]:
SH Queen [2:16 PM]:
Who's the evil "genius" that invented sweet and salty chex mix? SERIOUSLY!!!
Giggler [2:16 PM]:
Maybe it was Evil Genius. She really is an evil genius.
SH Queen [2:16 PM]:
Evil Genius can expect an ass kicking. You just tell her that our make out session - SO CANCELLED!!
Giggler [2:17 PM]:
She's reading this over my shoulder.
SH Queen [2:17 PM]:
EG, I am no longer going to make out with you, now stop your crying about it, but if you are the one who invented the sweet and salty chex mix and are forcing it in my bowl and into my mouth, well, there will be HELL to pay my friend, you heard me, HELL!
Giggler [2:17 PM]:
You missed the payday bar when I brought them in. Bummer for you. I'll be bringing in indoor s'mores on Monday, so brace yourself.
SH Queen [2:18 PM]:
Must get through these holiday's without ass growing three sizes larger. bad eating, bad eating.
Giggler [2:18 PM]:
She's laughing her evil genius maniacal laugh.
Oh, and she said to tell you that she's laughing all the way to the bank (due to her genius idea) and will therefore, pay for her own makeout sessions.
And, by the way, you don't have an ass.
SH Queen [2:19 PM]:
And likely plotting some other evil way to befuddle and waylay my good intentions
Giggler [2:19 PM]:
Last time I looked, and believe me, I look frequently, I couldn't see your ass.
SH Queen [2:20 PM]:
LOL - I'm glad someone looks frequently, but last time I ran on Monday, there was some jiggling in the back trunk that wasn’t there the week before. Something strange is afoot.
Giggler [2:20 PM]:
ha ha ha I doubt that. But, it's all about how you feel in your own body.
BTW -Maybe if you offer to make out with me, I might let you touch my leg lamp when it gets here. I'm just sayin'...
Play your cards right.
SH Queen [2:22 PM]:
Leg lamp touching? All I can do it touch? what if I had more in mind? like some cuddling?
Giggler [2:23 PM]:
I might let you cuddle with it, but only for a minute..
SH Queen [2:23 PM]:
I'll be gentle and soft. I'll even call it the next day like I promised.
Giggler [2:23 PM]:
Sure, isn't that what all the 'guys' say? I'll call tomorrow.
SH Queen [2:24 PM]:
Exactly, but being the sensitive type that I am, I would really do it. Ahhhh the leg lamp......
Giggler [2:24 PM]:
Would you caress it lovingly?
SH Queen [2:24 PM]:
Giggler [2:24 PM]:
SH Queen [2:25 PM]:
Let's just say that "Lady" the leg lamp will never get treated better. I can't even begin to tell you how envious I am of you.... can you tell?
Giggler [2:25 PM]:
It's nice to have someone be envious of me from time to time. I never win anything, so this is great!

And yet again, some people have the best jobs evuh! Wish I could work with such cool people and get harassed like this. This was the most productive these people were all day long.


Martha H. said...

OMG! Hilarious!!!! Wish I knew these peeps. :)

tiburon said...

Tell me why I don't have you and Martha on my instant messenger?!?!

Anonymous said...

EG is reading over my shoulder AGAIN!!! Sheesh! Nosy!