Friday, November 21, 2008

Funny Bone Friday - Things I may have heard, said, or thought in my head




"Get over here and scrabble me"

"You had blinking boobs"

"Mom, are maggots the same thing as worms?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I think I just hit your boob, or at least that spot you call one."

"For the ward talent show, will there be a place for me to set up my pole?"

"Hey, hey, hey, this is a booger-free zone!"

"You've been out of sorts all week, so just suck on this Big Stick and quit being so da** ornery!"

"That's a dump away from twice her body size."

Why is that lady staring at me? Not just out of the corner of her eye staring, but with her chair turned towards me staring? Quick, do the fake nose itch to find any stray boogers. Nope, clear there. Do the face wipe to find any stray goldfish crumbs. Nope, clear there. Glance down at my self to see if anything is poking out, unzipped, unbuttoned, spilled on or otherwise defective. Nope, clear there. Good girls intact and not showing? Yes, all's clear on the underwear front. Okay then WHAT THE FREAKING CRAP! Stop.Staring.Now.

"Did you just call me SKIMPY??"

What on earth is going on over there? Who do those girls think they are? Rocky AND Balboa?

1 comment:

Martha J. Hutchinson said...

Just you wait. Next summer, you might actually hit a boob when you hit my arm.