Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Mensa Invitational Results and today's goal

Got a fun email a couple of weeks ago giving me the Mensa Invitational Results (thanks Ranae)
They made me laugh. For your reading pleasure.......

(and yes, I understand the picture has NOTHING to do with the post, I just saw it and laughed so hard I snorted)

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2009 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Doppler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. -

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

Now your job for the day? Choose one of these words, find a way to use it at least three times today. Ready? Set? GO!


Loralee and the gang... said...

These made me laugh til I cried!
Thank you, I needed that today!

Kathy B! said...

These are hilarious! I love this list. But I'm not using any of those words :)

tammy said...

Thank you for giving me something to accomplish today.

Jewls said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!!

Kristina P. said...

This was awesome! I love a good laugh.

CountessLaurie said...

I am dying over here. Those were hysterical. I have already used inoculatte. I will definitely be using karmageddon...

thanks for sharing. i needed it!

Pedaling said...

the title,
the picture,
the list....
so well done all the way around....
now i will go pick my 3!

Kado! said...

willy-nilly cracked me up....

Omgirl said...

Those are so clever! I'm glad there are some geniuses out there to entertain me every year.

Nancy said...

So funny that I had to show my hubby! We laughed and then had to read them again. I snagged it for my blog. I gave you props.