Tuesday, April 7, 2009

An open letter to Loreal - WTC??

Dear Loreal,
Why, Why, Why?? You have this new uber-cool product called Double Extend Tube Mascara
click here
and yet, the only colors you offer it in is Black and Blackest Black. Perhaps you missed this, but I do.not. wear black mascara. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, I don't judge anyone who does. Very much at anyway. Okay, let's be honest. When I was younger and it was the 80's, sure I was a black eyeliner, black mascara girl. You know, the eyeliner that you melted slightly with your lighter and applied to the INSIDE of you bottom eye lid as well as a nice dark line under the lashes. And then perhaps even used 3 or more coats of BLACK mascara. But, dear friends at Loreal, I have aged. I have come to terms that black is not appropriate for my skin tone and coloring. Thus, I have switched to using a soft brownish/black or even a nice brown. BUT - do you OFFER THIS WITH THE NEW PRODUCT??? NO! I have checked every store I ever go into just to see if by chance it has been added. No luck. Tonight, I checked the website to see if it was available on line. No luck.
What the crap people? Do you expect only whores, I mean, only the other girls that can wear black nicely, to use this product?

I'm begging you, please produce this delightful fun new mascara in a softer shade that the rest of us gals can use. I'm a sucker for new products and this just looks too fun with all the applying tubes and washing them off and such to miss out on, just because I don't do black.

The non-whore,

PS - If you need an aged, freckly, sun spotted, wrinkly model to show off just how beautiful the brownish black (or soft brown), mascara could make even old eyes looks great, I am here for you.


DeNae said...

PPS, Loreal: If you want a fat chick of similar age to help with the campaign, then sign up Yours Truly. I'll also wear "Plum" to help my elderly hazel orbs "pop".

tiburon said...

Couldn't agree with you more.

Black is for whores.

Shawn said...

Oh, oh....I think that you have caught me.

I am really a whore.

Shawn said...

Crap---that was my other alter ego.

The other whore.

Becca said...

Suddenly I feel a need to wash my mascara off quickly and quietly so my hubby doesn't get the wrong idea;)

AS Amber said...

You freakin' spaz! Jump on the whore train sister!

BTW...I've used a similar product in "whore-est black" and it's not as great as you think it's going to be. Actually, the only thing I didn't like about it is that it's not waterproof. I don't want my whore-ish-ness washing off, y'see.

rychelle said...

this isn't the mascara that caused your eye to hurst earlier this week, is it?

the letter Bee said...

But what about whores who have inheritied the Price family stubby eyelashes and need all the deep definition they can get?!

I'm just sayin'.

Martha H. said...

I LOVE tube mascara. I get mine from Sephora and it's called Fiber Wig. LOVE, love love it!!! Of course, it comes in pole dancin, stilleto wearin, pimp slappin BLACK.

Apparently, I am a whore. Who knew?