How to decorate for Christmas.......

Ghetto style!

You may remember this post?

Yeah, not much has changed. I didn't suddenly grow decorating bones or brains. You can find that all over the blogosphere. Just visit any one of them on my side bar and you'll find great decorating tips. But not here. Nope, I'm still rockin it WT style.....

Now, I don't know what a good decoration is from a bad one. If I get something Christmasy, it stays, and finds a place somewhere. Until it breaks. Hopefully, at least it lasts a year.

Let's start in the kitchen. You know that ugly back door going to the garage? Yeah, throw something on there to help festify (yes that IS a word), the kitchen.and notice on the doorknob? It's, um, a dishtowel thingie..... but that seems to be the only place I could reasonably find for it. Totally doesn't match anything but, dangit, it got used!

Moving through the kitchen, let's do something with the banister.You've got some long fir, type of something. Years ago, you threaded some lights through it and strung it ever so lovely between the banister rails, cause you saw that somewhere and it was pretty. And the first year it was. This year, you realize the lights don't work and you don't have the energy or gumption to wind it ever so lovely. You throw it up there and wrap it once around to get it to stay. Kitchen covered.

Front Room/Home Teacher/Visiting Teacher/Jesus room. The only other room that gets decorated. Ever. Let's start with the coffee table. Now, you've got so much of Elder L's mission stuff, that there isn't much room. Instead plunk down some stupid center piece thingie that you bought the year after you graduated high school from your former dance club teacher, with whom you stayed friends.Just look how hideous that thing is! But at least it adds something to the coffee table. Right? RIGHT?

How about those end tables? At least do something with the one that people see the minute they step in the door.Now the lighted Santa? So far that dude has made it a couple of Christmas's. He's skating on thin ice at this house. And my nativity sets? Yeah, those little things you see there? The white set came all the way from a flea market in Mexico. For reals. We've had it for years and only Joseph got broken. We pretend one of the wise men is instead the carpenter.
The other one? Pretty cute huh? Freebie from Deseret Book. Yeah, only the immediate holy family, and this is their second year in our home. They take a deep breath every time I pass by, crossing their little ceramic fingers that I won't bump them. At one point, we had a BEAUTIFUL nativity set. I mean BEAUTIFUL. And I'd like to blame the boys, I really would, but I'm really the one that's the bull in the china shop. My favorite ceramic, that one of Santa kneeling in front of baby Jesus? That is my favorite and I can't believe it's made it through so many Christmas's. Keeping my own fingers crossed now!

Moving on to the mantlesome people hang their stockings with care, and while I was doing it, I was being careful, but for the love of all that's sacred and righteous, I couldn't hang something straight if my life depended on it. Don't worry about correct spacing between socks..... just throw them up there Ethel!

Down below the mantlesome miscellaneous decorations that you try cleverly to work in to the overall feng shui.


Now do you see that beautiful little village. I'll have you know, we have had that several years. We were given that as a special gift the year our family went through the temple to be sealed. Which is December 6th, BTW - but I digress. Anyhoo, it was a special gift to remind us of the special year. I love it! I actually still have ALL the pieces, and there's only a small chip on one of the houses. The lights? A different matter. There was this trick to getting them in and I, of course, didn't get the trick. They still work, just fine, but notice the plug there to the left? Yeah, won't reach an outlet. Can't find an extension cord. Leaving it there until I muster some vim and vigor to get it taken care of.

I've got two chairs that the Freakshow no longer insists on taking over, so with a few extra decorations, you can turn those pieces of crap into something, well, uh, decorated!
Yes, again, I realize that there is a dishtowel set. I just don't know what else to do with it! Cut me some slack man!

The Front Door. This has everyone on the outside fooled. It's a pretty decent wreath which might lead others to thinking that it's super cute inside as well? Don't I have them so fooled? And yes, the front door still needs painting in a desperate fashion, but I figure with the snow blowing around and stuff, it can wait until spring right?

And certainly don't forget to put down the welcome mat that your middle son made for you when he was in the 3rd gradeNow that's just cute, I don't care who ya are!


And finally, de piece de resistance. The TREE! What you can't tell is that about half the lights are burned out. Yep. Too tired to unstring them and go buy more. Putting on my list of things to do the day AFTER Christmas. Do I have a theme to my tree? Gold ornaments? Blue balls, and pinecones? Red and white candy canes? Heck no! Every ornament on my tree was homemade, handmade or given to us for some reason or another. Some are old neighbor gifts. Some are from the arctic circle drive through kids meal. I even think the bow at the top (no angels at our house), was a trimming on some other lovely wrapped present. But most of the ornaments, or toys as Sissy calls them, are ones that my boys made all through elementary school and in primary. See they used CONSTRUCTION paper. That is hard for me to break. Those make it through year after year.

And there you have it. Yet another fine lesson in decorating. You think I'm kidding don't you...... I'm really not. Not a decorator. Not an artsy, craftsy gal. Never have been, and not interested in becoming one. I appreciate it others. I admire it and even envy it in others, but I have come to realize that it's not me. And I'm totally okay with it.

Besides, who else would I laugh at, point fingers and mock mercilessly if not myself?