Saturday, October 10, 2009

How to decorate for Halloween........

if you are a moron what doesn't have a decorating bone in her body (yes I said what).

Otherwise known as, how to decorate ghetto style.

First, start with your front door. You know, the one that badly needs to be painted. Remove your flag art that has been there since July and add something that pertains to the current season:

Next, start in your front room. You know the room that is reserved for visiting/home teachers. The one that only Freakshow spends all day in perched on the once pretty table that he has now scratched beyond repair. Ignore that piece of trash, and find other spots to toss a decoration or two.

You spot your end table. The one that people notice when they walk in the door after battling Freakshow and Jordan:just arrange them nicely around your most favorite picture of all.

Don't forget the mantle. There's one thing or another in your "Halloween" box that can be perched there:

As you turn to leave the room wondering what to do with the last couple of items, don't leave out the front door. There is something on the outside, so OF COURSE there needs to be something on the inside:

Now as you stand there, okay lean there on your one crutch and good leg, you wonder what to do with that last piece of Halloween crap, I mean, decor that you are holding in your hands. Another door? about the door going to the garage? This is the ugliest of all the decorations, so that would be JUST the right spot!:and yes this door needs painting badly too.

Whew! You're done! You have managed to toss a few decorations up to, you know, garner some festive spirit. You can pat yourself on the back for being such a great homemaker. Even better, remind yourself that you, yourself, only purchased about two of the decor items. The rest were won at Bonco. Wow, add that to your awesome repertoire. You know how to win cool stuff at Bonco.

Now that the house is properly decorated. Head outside and remove the pink and blue sand chairs that have been sitting out front for weeks!

**Disclaimer. Every word of this is true. I suck at decorating. If you REALLY want some decorating tips, go see her. She has a button on her side bar with tons of ideas.**

As for me? Did you notice that I threw both Halloween and just general Fall, which can include Thanksgiving in all those beautiful decorations? That means I'm done till Christmas baby!


Pedaling said...

now that is funny.

i say you challenge anyone who mocks your ghetto style decorating skillz to a race of any sort......once you are up and running again of course..

Cherie said...

Hey Ghetto style is still style baby!! I love that you put your things out and you do it for your family!! Way to go! BTW your fireplace is gorgeous!!

I think you are smart. I also put out all fall stuff and when October is done I take the Halloween part down.

If you want to e-mail me with your address I have another of those plates...Seriously :D Have a GREAT day! Happy Decorating!!

tammy said...

I love Melissa.

Vanessa said...

That Tammy makes us all look bad.

And my H-decor is ghetto too. Don't feel too bad.

Miller Family said...

Hi, I am Tammy's friend Kristina, clicked on your blog cause it was funny, and cause I posted a very similar blog about 1 hour ago! :) Funny. :) Any way, I love it! made me laugh, and I have some very similar things happen yesterday. :) he he

Jillybean said...

I like your style of decorating. I also use the decorations that can be used for both Halloween and Thanksgiving.
A few years ago we decorated outside too. We got two of those big scarecrows and a bunch of pumpkins and arranged them very artistically on our porch. That night someone stole them.
Smart move keeping your stuff inside.

tiburon said...

I freaking love that.

Sadly my decorating is about the same - and I don't even hail from a high falutin' trailer park.

Jewls said... could just be like me and pretend Halloween doesn't exist? Hee hee, can't wait for Christmas though!

Omgirl said...

I never would have pegged you for a country craft type of decorator!

rychelle said...

fall/halloween/thanksgiving decorating is my favorite kind of decorating. even if it's ghetto. wink wink.

Terri Ferran said...

Ha! You are a freakin' Martha Stewart in my book!

I just pulled out my two or three "ghetto-deco" Halloween decorations (whilst we cleaned the garage on Saturday) and said. "Eeeew! That's ugly--does anybody want this?"

No responses, so I threw them in the garbage.

P.S. Make sure you ask the question when nobody is around to claim them--my kids will collect anything.

P.P.S. If you want to see "real" country-ish fall decor, look out at all the dead leaves in the yard that needs to be raked.

P.P.P.S. It will snow soon (you're welcome!) and the moisture will help create a mulch with the afore-mentioned dead leaves and thus the circle of life continues.

P.P.P.P.S. Except for the empty trashy plastic bottles, they won't decompose by spring. I guess I should go pick those up. Or I could drape them in white cloth and paint eyes on them--that's a ghostly, Halloweenish thing to do.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Naw, takes too much energy.

Kado! said...

HA Vanessa is funny...and yet so true...

I think it looks Great!