Thursday, April 15, 2010

Top 20 things I learned in St George

I go to St George (southern UT) every other month for work.  I go to train new users on our software system.  I am the teacher.  Stop laughing and snorting at me.  It's true.  I train a couple of classes.  I didn't say I liked it, or that I'm good at it.  It's just a small part of my job.

This last week, with 'dawg going away to be a Marine and all, he wanted to tag along and have a little get away.  The days I was scheduled to be gone happened to match up with his days off.  It kind of came together spur of the moment.  And then, on the way out of town, we got a wild hair and invited his BFF to come along as well.  His BFF is self employed in the landscaping biz with his Dad and frankly, not a lot of work happening right now.

They are wild party boys.  No. Lie.

I established 3 rules:
1.  Don't get me kicked out of the hotel room.  This was my WORK trip afterall.
2.  No smoking in the room of any substance legal or otherwise.
3.  I would purchase food, but NOT alcohol.  They were on their own for that.
Oh and the usual rule which I  remind them just in case and that is: any language is usually fair game EXCEPT for the F bomb, Diety (Lord's name in any fashion), or crude references for body parts.


I now present the top 20 things I learned whilst spending time with two 23 year old boys.  I did learn much more, but am busy using some brain bleach to clean it all out.
Without further ado:

1.  A long board and a skateboard are NOT the same thing.
2.  A Low-Carb Monster can and a tall boy beer can look similar in the dark.  Sniff first before taking a swig.
3.  Farts happen in the confines of a car without a courtesy roll.  Rude.
4.  Boys are not afraid to drop trou in front of their friends mother to change their pants.
5.  One boy can pack more shoes and clothes and one woman can.
6.  One woman can pack three times as many products as a boy.
7.  Boys don't care what soap or shampoo they use.
8.  There is some kind of beer that comes served with orange slices.  Like that is going to make it taste better?
9.  That no matter what you add into the potatoes at Taco Bell, they are still going to be disgusting.  Argue your point until the cows come home.  They are dis.gus.ting. (see pic below)
10.  Boys can be chatty kathy's
11.  Only when the mom shows up do the boys remember their language at the pool despite the small children playing about.
12.  People actually drink beer at 10:30 in the morning.
13.  If Mom introduces a cute girl who happened to be at her training class to her son and his BFF - she will get lots's of love.  The mom - not necessarily the girl.
14.  Son's do drunktext their mothers.
15.  Boys can disappear for hours at night and still wake up in time for free breakfast.  All while not having a vehicle to drive.
16.  Boys can create the BOMB of a wing sauce.  I need BFF to hang with me more often simply for his skills at ordering the right wing sauce.
17.  Boys can be so quiet when returning to a hotel room that Mom never knows what time they come in.
18.  That wintergreen chew smells like Pepto Bismal.  It does not look as pleasant.
19.  That despite strong moral differences and principles, I can absolutley LOVE and ADORE a couple of wild, 23 year old young men.
20.  That they can and DO respect me and love me back.

(that my friend's is some sort of fried potato with cheese sauce and sour cream - wrong on SO many levels)

(I swear they just unspooned)

(they had the gonads to send this to me while I had to be indoors training)

(Completely out of my element, but I love these guys!!)

The most important take away from this trip?  Love your freakin kids man!  No matter what they do or don't do - there is nothing that can happen that should ever sever your relationship with your offspring.  Ever.

Wonder what June's trip to Southern Utah is gonna bring?


tammy said...

You are the best mom ever.

Cherie said...

That is so funny! A couple of those had me rolling - I could just picture them! You are brave and very fun :D

CountessLaurie said...

This is TOO funny! It's great that you can have a good time with your son!!

Vanessa said...

I like that pillow they have separating them.

Mae Rae said...

you truly are an inspiration to me. I joke around about not being able to wait until the boys move out but I secretly want them to live at home forevah. I love that you have the strong sense of family that you do. Be my new best friend forever? PLEASE!


Families ties are truly the most important. You are are a fabulus Mom, and a brave one....

wendy said...

funny stuff------
I liked your rules.
I always told my boys before they went out on a date--KEEP YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS AND YOUR PECKER IN YOUR PANTS.
I am really deep like that. very profound

and yes I agree, gotta love your kids, set the example, and wish for them the best always.

and oranges in the beer enhances the nutritional value......DUH

kado! said...

have I told you before that you are an amazing Mother...'cause you ARE!

umm, are you sure those are potatoes? scary yes!

I've been known to drop an f-bomb from time to time...but usually only when alcohol is involved. Just warning you for when we get to finally hang out! (but I'm all good on the Deity exclamations. Crude references for body parts...can't promise anything on that one either... ;)

Sher said...

Honey, YOU are a saint!

tiburon said...

I might have to travel with you in June. Mama needs some excitement in my life...

Lara said...

You are such a good mom. And all of your revelations make me happy I have only girls! (Except, I only have brothers, so I have still had a fairly extensive education!)

Martha H. said...

Oh goodness. ha ha ha Looks like you guys had a good time. I loved the pic of the two of them in bed.