April 13: Famine Underwear
The garments you wear during a shortage of underwear, when you haven't done laundry in several weeks or months. Usually characterized by lack of elasticity, holes (usually large and awkwardly located), stains, and typically are at least 5 - 10 years old. In some cases soccer shorts, underwear of unknown origin, thongs, bathing suit bottoms, or 'granny panties' can be considered famine underwear, but do not necessarily meet the above criteria.
I haven't done laundry in weeks, so I'm wearing my famine underwear, the boxers I made in home economics in middle school.
**Admit it. EVERYONE has some of these!**
April 14: text-killer
Phrases and words such as "lol yeah" and "haha ok" that are guaranteed to kill any text conversation.
"r u coming 2 the prty 2nite?"
"no i cant cuz i hav 2 go 2 a family reunion"
"way to use a text-killer... now wat do i say?"
**And now, you know how to end a text convo**
And,.....in honor of tax day:
April 15: It pays the taxes
The replacement saying for "It pays the bills" in reference to writing off a job as merely a means of income, and in no way an enjoyable or lucrative way of making a living.
Due to the increase in taxes "It pays the taxes" takes the place of "It pays the bills" while it takes a second job or additional income to actually pay the bills.
"How's your new job going?"
"It's going ... it pays the taxes. I'm looking for a part-time job now to pay the bills"
**So sad that it's so true.**