Tuesday, October 12, 2010

My deep dark secret - or better titled - The Post in which I prolly lose a bunch of friends and get hate comments.

I've been doing some catching up on reading all my favorite blogs and Facebook status's and I am feeling a theme.  So much so, that I now feel like a freak of nature.  A FREAK I SAY!

It's because..........







I hate Fall.
There I said it.  I typed it.  Out.Loud. 
I hate Fall.  I hate Autumn.  I hate Halloween.

*gasp*

For reals dude.  I don't like it all.
When everyone else is oohing and ahhing over the leaves changing colors, the crispness to the air, the sweaters, warm socks, hot cocoa, Halloween decorations, all things orange, black and harvesty-colored, I am feeling sick inside
While for others, the change of the season brings feelings of renewal with the kids going back to school.  It's a new season.  A new start.  New school clothes.  I am dreading every morning and wondering if I can pull myself out of my warm bed.

I want the sun beating down on me.  I want my car so hot when I get it in after work, that you feel the heat soak right into your very bones.  I want flip flops and t-shirts.  I want running shorts and tank tops. 

Instead, fall means bundling up to run outside (if I get the courage), or it's the dreadmill.  It's boots, coats, gloves, scarves and umbrella's.  It's frost on the grass.  It's cold in the air.  It's dead leaves.

Fall is not the season of renewal for me.  It's the season of death.  The leaves fall off the trees and, the flowers wilt up, the grass goes yellow and pretty soon everything is just gray.  Death gray.

And Halloween?  Don't even get me started. 
Okay, get me started.  I know it's supposed to be fun and cute and blah, blah, blah - but I think it's stupid.  Really?  Don't you feel a tich embarrassed to be dressed up as something or someone other than who you are and then teach your kids to go around knocking on doors asking for candy?  And I hate the whole spookiness of it all.  Not for any religious reasons, it just seems so.... so.....dumb.
To me anyway. 
And please, no offense to my little sister who is a practicing Wicca.  I understand this is practically a religious holiday and all for you, but I just can't love it like everyone else does. 

Fall signals depression.  Little sun.   Cold.  Wet.  The period of time that can only mean winter and it's dark days are lurking right behind it.  The days that I don't want to get out of bed.  The days that when I come home from work, I am in my jammies and back in bed before Splenda even has dinner ready.

I know.  I'm pathetic. I guess the truth is out.  I really am the bah-humbug loser that you suspected all along.  After all, who doesn't like Fall, Autumn and Halloween for crying out loud?

So let the hate comments begin...... I can take it.  I understand this weirdness about myself.  But I will concede to one thing - the smell of pumpkin spice burning is quite dreamy.  I'll  give you that.

But for everything else Fall/Autumn/Halloweenish - you can suck it! 

34 comments:

That One Mom said...

Hahaha! You're funny... I would expect this ode of hate to winter, but fall? Sheesh, you're a tough egg to crack!

Eric and Ape said...

It sounds like you need St. George... There... I said it...

Ann Marie said...

You rock girl!!
Ya... I agree with much of your sentiments -- so RANT/VENT away!!!

Dreadmill? Oh I love your vocabulary my dear friend.

Not only has crafting become a new family favorite word to use.. now it's the dreadmill...

Cherie said...

Ok you make me just laugh all over the place! But definately no hate comments. In fact, I am NOT a summer girl so I think once you went to St. George and were talking about how much you love heat and I commented that it was sick like a dead dog.
We can still be friends even if we don't like each other's seasons - You suck it in summer and I'll suck it in Fall (did I seriously just type that!!!) Bah ha ha ha ha!!!

tammy said...

Girl, why do you think I moved to AZ? Fall would always bring out those feelings in me when I lived in UT. I HATED fall because I knew winter was right behind and I was already dreading the endless gray skies and cold. Not to mention the not being able to run somewhere when I wanted to because it was snowing. Or a 15 minute drive taking 45 minutes or longer because it was snowing. HATED it! And I wasn't into Halloween either until we moved here. Down here it's a neighborhood party. Most people hang on their front porch and watch the trick-or-treaters walk up and down the streets. It's time for you to move down south where we have like 7 cloudy days a year.

Katie said...

i LOVE IT! fall cold isn't worth it because theres no snow i vote we skip that season! :) your the bomb M

love katie

CountessLaurie said...

HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE FALL!
HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE HALLOWEEN!
HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE SWEATERS!
HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE SHORTER DAYS AND LONGER NIGHTS!

HOW DARE I STILL LIKE YOU AFTER THIS POST!

(Oh, I dare. I dare indeed.)

Everything you said, except insert winter instead of fall.

Now the phrase "How dare you" looks weird... hmmm. I am going back to my Halloween planning and forget I know this about you ;-)

smooches!!

Missy said...

LOL! You looked good in those boots! I think Fall suits you! LOL

DeNae said...

Your problem, of course, is that you're too skinny. Well insulated gals like me look forward to the cooler weather for two reasons: One, we don't work up a sweat just getting out of bed in the morning, and two, layering deludes us into thinking we're camouflaging our imperfections, despite the fact than we now just look like the Michelin Man.

wendy said...

Dang, and here I was gonna invite you into my coven and all.
looser.

but YES I agree about the whole death thing.
winter will hit my neck of the woods before you. I'll be sucking back hot chocolate and Vitamin D before you.

so if it makes you feel better, put on your leggins and go out and smash some pumpkins.

OH, and I AM A LITTLE DISAPOINTED THAT YOU SAID I WAS NO GOOD IN BED...on that girl getaway thing.
Well.......thats NOT what you told me the first time.
tee,hee

" Hit It......." said...

You are so funny! I don't blame you about being bummed! I like good weather to exercise in as well! At least you have a sense of humor!

I have a worse thought; Christmas is 73 days, 8 hrs. and 3 minutes away from happening! Isn't that enough to make anyone a scrouge!

gigi said...

Fall has never really been my favorite season either, but it is better than summer down here in southern Georgia.

I never did let our kids go trick or treating. We only went to the church party because I hated it that much.

BTW, thank you so much for letting me sleep with you this past weekend at the Girls Gone Wild Bear Lake weekend. Sorry if I snored :(

Mrs. Organic said...

Sing it, sister! Let's go to Cali until it's over.

Jewls said...

Love fall, HATE Halloween. Totally agree, dumbest. holiday. EVER! Wasn't so bad when I was a kid GETTING all the free candy, but I grudge every single trick-or-treater for taking away my goods! Ha!

Also hate running in the cold...hope it stays warm til Halloween is over or I might not survive my race!

dubb and dawni said...

I HATE FALL too.. I love the SUMMER the hotter the better baby. I'm with ya sista fall is DEATH and ugly. Can I be your friend now that I'm on the hate FALL band wagon???

Megan and Devin said...

Duh....come visit!! It's usually 99 degrees on Halloween Day here!!
Or better yet, we'll meet you in St George and go stay at the other Bland house. :)

veronica said...

Well at least you don't hate pumpkin spice candles.
Guess I won't wait up when I don't see you on my doorstep all dressed up and asking for candy.
I'll miss you.
But we can still be friends.

Pedaling said...

i died laughing when you just casually, like it's normal, included your "no offense to your little sister who is a practicing Wicca"

btw- i love fall---the sweaters and the boots and warm socks and fireplaces....and i still love you, too!

Lara said...

This is not a hate comment. Every season needs to be loved, and you get summer! :)

Fall is my favorite, but sometimes I feel like it's just a bandwagon. Even though I love it. My daughter loves winter. I think she's crazy, but I guess winter needs to be loved, too!

Lene said...

What Tammy said...

Martha H. said...

I feel this same way about summer, but I absolutely adore fall.

Don't worry. It's not a deal breaker for me. I'll still be your friend. :)

DIAPER DIVA said...

I'm with Tammy. Move to AZ. You will never dread a winter again. Fall, what's that? Haven't seen changing leaves in a LONG time. We have to seasons, hot and cooler than hot.
Oh and cool friends would come with the deal. I know, to much ask just because you hate the season. Just a thought......
P.S. I don't mind Hallowen my kids love it, but I HATE dressing up just as much you do.

Vanessa said...

Fat girls like me like to cover up their fat with layers. It's a proven fact.

Suzie said...

You LOVE a Hot car?
It's Ok. we can still be friends.

at least the pumpkin candle got the praise.

;)

Heather said...

I think Halloween is kind of dumb, too. Fun for little kids, but I really don't get why adults get so into it. I also think that it's often just an excuse for Mormon girls/women to dress skanky...er, excuse me, "sexy."

And while I don't hate Fall in quite the same way as you do, I do hate Winter (well, Utah Winter). And Fall makes me sad because it means Winter is on its way. Did you grow up in Utah? Because you sound like an AZ girl (which I am) through and through. As soon as Josh is done with school, I'm trying to get him to move us there. I mean seriously...we got married in December in Phoenix and the weather was like it is now here in Utah. All these Fall lovers could experience an Arizona winter just like it for 4 or 5 months!

Oh, and I'm with you on the hot car thing. I rarely turn the A/C on when I first get in because I love it, and then don't realize that my passengers are about to puke from the stuffy heat.

Yikes, I ramble.

carma said...

I am with you fully and completely. To me fall has always signaled a depressing season where things die and it gets dark and cold.

Funny that I have visited your blog shortly after visiting a blogger who absolutely loves fall and even has a countdown to fall every year!

Anonymous said...

If fall meant I had to start bundling up, I wouldn't like it either, but for me it means I can walk outside and only perspire instead of sweating my clothes wet.

LKP said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! i love you no matter WHAT season you have disdain for. because simply, my dear, you are worth it! (:

i adored every minute we got to spend with you this weekend, and even after you had to skeedaddle to your super secret super fantastic activity with your YW, you were still with us! that's a good sign.

as for snowville, that IS the normal way home. up 84. it's a while after tremonton. there was no avoiding going that way. i stayed in tooele, then jaunted back into SLC to see temple square, and then north to alaska....going north the rush is on.....j/k, north back up towards WA. got the tired sitch-ee-ated and my other fender back on in snowville, and it all did fine the whole rest of the way back.

so no worries there.

there was a letter from your boy on my desk when i got home. he wrote it the day you & i met! i thought that was kinda cool. he said he couldn't wait to see pictures from your pig deal.

k, gotta go be productive.

love ya bunches & bunches, autumn-hater. =)

::hugs::

LKP said...

BRAZILLIAN!

Melissa said...

oh. my. gosh. for real. i love the sun too! i hate it here but i have no choice. blech.

Natalie said...

I agree with the Halloween comment. I hate Halloween... And if I ran, I would hate the cold too :) I still like you even though you hate my favorite season!

tammy said...

Here you go...you can blame the Irish for this holiday that you hate:

Halloween’s origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in) over 2000 years ago in what’s now called Ireland. Halloween has long been thought of as a day when the dead can return to the earth, and ancient Celts would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off these roaming ghosts.

In the second half of the nineteenth century, America was flooded with new immigrants. These new immigrants, especially the millions of Irish fleeing Ireland’s potato famine of 1846, helped to popularize the celebration of Halloween nationally. Taking from Irish and English traditions, Americans began to dress up in costumes and go house to house asking for food or money, a practice that eventually became today’s “trick-or-treat” tradition.

Hmmm...sounds like a bunch of liberals wanting to spread the wealth around. You're right, Halloween should be banned!

Mae Rae said...

i am catching up myself and all i can say is...seriously? I think we were seperated but i got the bigger half.

tiburon said...

How are we friends? Seriously?!?!