Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Why yes, it IS all about WE

Monday marked the 26th anniversary of me and Splenda Daddy's wedding (is that correct grammer or should it be Splenda and I?  - I never know, but I bet Cheeseboy or Teaching Fourth will enlighten me!)

We spent Sunday evening in Park City enjoying the mountains that we both love so much.  Monday was spent purchasing Splenda a new bike and then cruising main street.  Dinner at our favorite haunt in town, browsing a few shops and then making ourselves come back to the valley and real life again.

TWENTY-SIX years.  That's like a whole lifetime in today's world.  I think of all the couples that we knew who also got married that year or soon thereafter and are no longer married.  Those that were in our circle of friends at the time anyway.  I guess, I can sort of understand why.  Marriage is certainly not all rainbows, kitten whiskers, and unicorns pooping butterflies.  It's hard sometimes.  Money, children, extended family, friends, work, church, hobbies - can all creep into your relationship in unhealthy ways. 

There are disagreements.  Sometimes out and out fights.  Differing views on everything from raising the children, to how to hang a picture.  But me and Splenda?  We've  faired pretty well I would say. We agree on most things.  At least the ones that we deem important.  We disagree on things that don't matter, thus we don't care.  We are committed to our relationship - there is no escape hatch or exit strategy.  We talk about, dream out, and envision growing old together.  We make plans for retirement and what we will do.  We play, we eat, we sleep, we talk, we discuss, we debate, we counsel, we worship, we lead, we laugh, we cry, we amuse, we, we,'s all about we.  And it always has been.  From day one to day......whatever it is now.

I suppose if I were to take the WE out of our relationship, it would be a much different picture.  Maybe that is what is so hard about marriage.  Sometimes we forget the WE part.  Instead, the focus becomes ME or I.  When that happens, it's hard to keep the true vision of what a marriage relationship is all about.  Heaven knows there is many a soul out there in the world, who is doing their best to make a marriage work, but without the other half pulling their weight.  You can't do it all by yourself.  That's the cold brutal fact.  And for those, my heart aches.  I have found nothing to compare to the happiness in a successful, healthy relationship.

Lest anyone who stumbles on this and is reading with the thought that our marriage is the epitome of perfection, I say, push that thought out of your head NOW.  Perfect, no.  Near perfect?  Yep! 

I am one lucky, blessed girl to get the remarkable man I have.  Who knew that when I first met him and his mullet lo these many years ago, that I would love him more today, than I could ever have imagined possible.  That life could throw us so many curveballs, and yet we still find the fun in it all.  That even with unfulfilled expectations, plans averted, snags in our game plan, that we are still holding out strong and immovable.

I take it all back to that little two letter word...... WE

I am grateful for my Splenda who sees that vision too.  He treats me like a queen.  He loves me, he loves our children and our granddaughter.  He respects me.  Most importantly, he knows that WE has to exist or failure is a reality.

Happy 26 years Splenda!  It's been a fun ride, and I can't wait to see what the next 26 bring us!


Vanessa said...

I'm assuming you MEANT to spell grammar wrong? :) As for the other thing, I taught SPED, I have no idea. We never got that far.

My fave pic is your bikes parked together. How sweet.

Congrats on two are very cute!

CountessLaurie said...

So sweet. Congratulations.
P.S. Have I seen a picture of this mullett? Can I? Also a wedding picture of you two, while we are at it? I am nosy :-)

" Hit It......." said...

This was so sweet! You are completely right about the "We" being the focus of making marriage work. Twenty-six years is impressive. You obviously know that life will never be greener on the other side. Congratulations!

p.s. Post the picture of the mullet, I am dying to see it.


It is crazy that we are so close in age and you can claim 26 years and I think I am at 7 or maybe 8. I think I am supossed to remember these things not him, but he is way better at numbers:)
Happy Aniiversary!!!!!!
I agree, the we is the key.

Teachinfourth said...

Take the other person's name out of the sentence and the word "and." If the sentence doesn't make sense with 'we' then it should be 'I' instead.

So, what do you think?

Man, I'm such a teacher...

BTW, congrats on the big 26!

Missy said...

You do not look 26! OMG!
Happy Anniversary! That is awesome!!!!

Cherie said...

Happy Happy Anniversary!!
26 years IS totally a milestone and I love the word WE - it is definately important - You worded this perfectly!!
I always love the pictures you and Splenda take holding the camera out in front of you - So cute!!
Glad you had a good time celebrating - Hope you stopped and had some great 26 year sex somewhere!!!

Suzie said...

We are both lucky women to have found such wonderful men.

Here's to 26 more!

tammy said...

You two are one of my most favoritist couples ever!! (How's that for some bad grammar?) I love your story of how you started and how you've ended up.

Sue said...

"WE" to go!!!!!

considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce, you have done good.

You are very lucky indeed to have such a great guy, and so is he!!

Happy Anniversary♥

Mrs. Organic said...

Completely awesome! And you are right on.

Pedaling said...

you got it figured out!
Happy Anniversary.
this is similar to what you did last year....yes? gotta stay with what is fun and works.....
Love you and your man and family.
Happy Day!

Anonymous said...

Is that a southwest burrito pizza and a tequila lime pasta?

M-Cat said...

Why yes ANON - that IS southwestern burrito pizza. Easily the best pizza. The pasta? meh. I'm not sure it's the tequila lime, I don't remember the name of it, I just know that we have ordered it in the past - it was FANTASTIC - and cheeseless. This time, someone added Feta cheese globs all throughout it, and I almost threw up. Not cool.

Love that pizza though!!

carma said...

congratulations. My, you were a child bride :) I WOULD consider this the epitome of perfection compared to most relationships I've come across!!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Holy happy 26 years!!!

I think since my husband and I haven't killed each other in this first seven years we just might make it to 26 too! :D

Men, you can't live with them and you can't shoot em.

Just kidding, mostly. hehe

Garden of Egan said...

That was a darling post! You said it perfectly! (take that Cheeseboy)
Happy Anniversary!

Natalie said...

Great honest advice! I love it and will share with Alan. Happy 26th!!! I could totally feel love oozing off this post.

tiburon said...

You guys are the bestest - and I love seeing how cute you are together.

And I feel really bad for calling and interrupting....uh...stuff.

Mae Rae said...