Friday, July 8, 2011

An open letter to my Splenda Daddy

Dear Splenda Daddy,
 I am sorry.  I know it's been a hard week, and the culmination today was enough to make a grown man cry.
I know you loved Molly.  I remember when you first brought her home a little over two years ago.  You had waited so long and she was so beautiful and you were so happy together.

Did I mind?  Not a bit.  I was secure enough in your love for me, that Molly was a nice friend to add to our relationship.

But lately, I could see the frustration.  I could feel the tension.  The idea being bantered around that maybe Molly was due to move on to another relationship.  You went back and forth.  You would look at her.  Hear her growl and your heart said, "Keep her!".  But then, as you would shut the garage, and drive away, the idea of her just sitting there unused made no sense.

Her gas mileage wasn't feasible for commuting to work in.
Her comfort level for long road trips wasn't what it should be.
As an every day car, she just wasn't the type.

But, how pretty she looked.  How sexy she sounded.  How fun she was to wrap her out and spin her tires.

So for months now, you have vacillated between the 'for sale' ad, and the 'I'm keeping her' mentality.

Finally, earlier this week, you got a call.  From a nice guy about our age, who was ready for his first pony.  His first REAL man ride.  You knew the minute he came to look her over, he would buy her.  You knew it in your heart. 
It was sad.  We cried.  We told ourselves it only made sense.  Why would someone keep a brand new car in the garage to do nothing but sit in the garage?  Just didn't make sense.

Last night we took her out for one more quick spin.  Wrapping her out on the highway felt good.  It was our last lingering love fest.

Today, you drove her to the bank, met up with the new owner, signed a few papers and turned over the keys.

My heart hurts for you.  You will forever be a Mustang Man.  I know you like logic, reason, and fiscal conservatism.   I know that financially this just makes sense.  Why have a car payment on something you don't drive?  I get that.  But I really want you to have something you LOVE.  I would be willing to even sell my Cooper, a son,'ll stop asking for a trampoline.

I think you should sell your cool Honda and get one of these
                  (2011 Mustang GT - V8 - same gas mileage as his Honda - do it baby, you deserve it)

So, my darling Splenda, I am sorry for the loss of Molly.  She will always hold a special place in our hearts.  I want you to be happy - so please get the car that you really, REALLY love and I will support you.



wendy said...

"last lingering love fest"....kinda like a threesome I imagine.
You are one cool wife.

Teachinfourth said...

Do you really want to say goodbye?

" Hit It......." said...

Can't believe he did it. I thought he would change his mind. I am sad for him. I fall in love with cars too. I am ready for a new love to add to our life...the hub says "no." At least you are willing to consider it!

Diaper Diva said...

Can I cry too? Dang, hard choice!

tammy said...

I am crying for him. I understand men's relationships with their cars. I think he should get the new one too and do away with the Honda.

And then we'll race.

veronica said...

I love this post! I hope Molly can find happiness in her new relationship. Splenda is a lucky man to have an awesome wife like you.

LKP said...

this is how seth's been with the sale of each of his jeeps! and i know my dad would be the same way about HIS mustang. hard time. we know it well.
::hugs to both you & splenda::

Sue said...

"I hate Goodbys"
Molly was a good woman!
But so are you.