Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Yes - I am alive and still kicking.

No - I can't caught up on my google reader.  Trying desperately, can't get there.  Please don't be mad at me if I haven't commented on your blog lately, I am wanting to read everything and everyone, just not finding the time.

Yes - I am still toying with the idea of going private.  I would like the ability to write what I really feel instead of knowing that I am being stalked, watched, and my words twisted.

No - I have nothing interesting to post about right now that I can post publicly

Yes - My life is a little piece of heaven hell right now.

No - There isn't anything I can do about it, but continue giving the attorney information.  Gathering documentation and waiting to see what piece of shit drops next.

Yes - We are dealing with some legal issues.

No - Splenda Daddy and I are fine - it happens to be with  Sissy's other grandparents.

Yes - We believe we are doing the right thing and that in the end, the right resolution will be made.

Yes - It is expensive, but again, if we didn't care so desperately about Sissy's well being we wouldn't be spending the money for the expertise.

No - you can't reason with crazy.  Stop trying.

Yes - Luka moved out and lives closer to his new job and school.

Yes - I am happy for him but a little sad and missing him.

No - He doesn't get to come back. Those are the rules dude.

Yes - I am still working out and training for the the TOO MANY events I have registered for.

No - I will not back down from them.  I will face them head on.

Yes - I am trying to scale back and let things go in my life that I can.  Blogging seems to be taking a hit.

No -  I haven't found the peace and happiness that I should have by now.  Instead I walk around with a constant knot in my stomach and a feeling of anxiety I can't shake.

Yes - My Marine is doing well.  He is graduating MCT on the 1st and then heading off to MOS school.  Waiting word on where that will be.

No - I am not worried about him.  But if he were here some of these legal issues wouldn't be an issue at all.  That would be easier - not gonna lie.

Yes - I have a great support system with my family and friends, but in reality, they can only do so much.  That's just the facts.  Although, I hate to think where I would be without them.

No - I don't get to go to Cancun this year.  That has me seriously depressed.

Yes - Sissy is doing fantastic.  She is happy.  Happier than we have ever seen her.  She brings joy in our lives.

No - Sissy has no clue how anxious I feel.  Acting is a calling I missed in life.

Yes - It really is 3:00am and I am awake. 

Maybe, I will try to go back to bed and catch some sleep before the alarm goes off in two hours.


Mrs. Organic said...

I am sorry you having to deal with all of this, and it is completely admirable that you are going to bat for Sissy. I wish some of it were easier (and that Cancun could happen and give you a little bit of a respite - I think next year's trip should get to be twice as long).

Keep up the good fight. Love you.

" Hit It......." said...

I thought I had sleep issues...

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are doing the right thing. I admire you and Splenda for all that you are doing by trying to give Cissy a great life!

btw - I am not giving up the gym. How else would I see you?

MommyJ said...

You are so brave and so tough and I just want you to know I'm praying that all works out the way it should. Hugs sent your way...

Kristin said...

Wow! Talk about a full plate! Best wishes to you. Legal stuff sucks the big one.

Ordinary Miracles said...

I am sorry things are not so easy right now. I can not begin to imagine, or maybe I can with my kid situation all you must be going through. Custody issues are never easy. Hang in there! Sissy is one special kiddo.

Ann Marie said...

This post makes me so sad.
You have done so much to help Sissy.. and have had to deal with loss yourself.. it just isn't fair that you now have legal crap to deal with too.
When I go to the Temple.. I will continue to put your name in until I hear it's all over. I am sorry M.

Don't worry about the reader.
That is a stress in and of itself.
Read what you want.. and leave it.
If they are true friends.. they will stick whether or not your commenting.

I wish I could something to help.
Let me know if you need a meal or something.. some night. I would be happy to help relieve a little stress.

Hang in there. I know your a tough chickie. Prayers and thoughts will be sent your way!

Jewls said...

Oh M-Cat! Sounds pretty intense, I'll keep you guys in my prayers!

Vanessa said...

When will the madness end? Bed bugs, death, legal stuff. You have had a crappy few months. I am so sorry.

tammy said...

I purposely haven't been blogging, just so your Reader doesn't get overloaded.

Sorry you have to deal with all of this. Praying it all works out.

Wonder Woman said...

Oh man. I wish there was I could do. Scratch that. I can (and will) pray for you and Sissy and all involved. I really hope it gets better soon. Glad Sissy's doing well, sad you're waving goodbye to your hard earned dollars. I understand the wanting to be private thing. You can always go private for a little bit, then unpublish stuff when you are ready to be public again.

gigi said...

You hang in there my friend! It will get better. Not sure just when but I know that it will. Trust in the Lord and plead for His help. He wants to bless you. I also know you are being tried and tested right now and you are measuring up. You can do hard things. Hugs to you and continued prayers from me.

Gramee said...

I guess it isn't just as easy as Daddy Marine making you guys legal guardian over Sis?..

I hope you find some kind of peace soon.. you deserve it

Wife Of A Salesman said...

Okay I know it isnt going to make your day, but atleast it will give you something fun to look forward to. My daughter cut out all your quilt blocks and she and her grandma are sewing the top of it together this week! Keep Smiling cuz, it may get worse before it gets better. Lubba!E

Missy said...

Still praying for your entire family. Wish I could help more!
You will make it through...

Mindi said...

love you, melissa.

this, too, shall end. (but in the meantime, self-medicate thru drugs, exercise, training for too many events, and ACTING! it's what we mormon women do best....;)

Mindi said...

oh, and chocolate.

DesertHen said...

Sending prayers and hugs your way! You are dealing with so much...and doing an amazing job! Congrats to 'Dawg on his MCT graduation. Hope he gets a good MOS location. I will miss reading your posts if you have to go private. =( (but I understand!) ((((HUGS))))

Cherie said...

Melissa the legal stuff will put knots in your stomach for sure. We had some legal issues with our own children and 1 set of their grandparents once upon a time. It is an ugly chapter in our lives that I am glad is over.
Some things I learned is that I believe right will prevail. You cannot fight crazy so you document, document, document and have people who will stand up for you in court if necessary.
I am sooo very sorry you are going through this but for Sis's sake I know you've got to. I have NO DOUBT that it will turn out in your favor and all will be well for you guys and Sis.

Heather said...

Oh man. I can't even imagine. Sometimes life just sucks and is completely unfair, but just keep doing what you're doing. I've got you in my prayers.

Garden of Egan said...

Em, I love you.

I wish there was something more that could be done.

Sorry you are having to deal with the other crazy grandparents. It would be cruel of them to take Sissy out of a stable environment.

You are in my prayers.

suz said...

I like the format - may have to borrow it. Thanks for the update.

PFC finished MCT and got Facebook on his phone - yay! He's on his way to VA.


Cathy said...

Wow, a lot of judgment from your Kool-Aid drinking fan club of ... what, about 20 members? Melissa, dear, why don't you tell them the truth about your refusal to allow dear, dead Jill's family to have reasonable visitation with the granddaughter you share with them? I know she brings you "joy"; but why are you so pathetically threatened that she also brings joy to the other side of her family? Have you considered "Sissy's" reaction to your "stress," your outbursts, your internal disorders, your hair falling out, and your need for what I recall as you describing , your "little yellow pills." And please, keep blogging: as I have told Jill's parents, document, document, document.

Kelly said...

you don't know me, but i'm related to the mamafamilias, so i get updated regularly on your posts and thought i'd drop by. really sorry to hear about you having to go through all this. if it helps any, one of my favorite mark twain quotes is 'by trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. another man's, i mean.' it just makes me laugh, and that helps. (hope this doesn't offend, but i remember one time i was in the bishop's office for a regular interview and he asked how i was doing. i kinda went all to pieces because things had been pretty tough. after i got done we sat there in the quiet for a minute; then he said, 'you know, it's not enough just to endure adversity. we've been told we need to endure it well.' honest to goodness thought i was going to have to be arrested for assaulting my own bishop there for a minute. sometimes you just want to say, 'the fact that i am enduring at all is enduring it well, tonto, so just back off,' eh?) hang in there. i won't say 'it'll get better' 'cause frankly that kind of optimism is just irritating at some points, don't you think? sometimes the best sympathy someone can have is to say, yep, it sucks. so, yep, whatever it is, i'm sure it sucks. even though your friends and family can only do so much, though, knowing that they would do more if they could can be a little more comfort. just ask them for a hug ocassionally and it'll help considerably. trust me. sorry for the long comment from a complete stranger, but know that my mom and i, even though we don't know you personally, still hope things turn out well for you and that you can all be happy. don't know if it helps, but there it is.

tammy said...

You know we all love you and would love to tell psycho Cathy off! You handled it perfectly.

Teachinfourth said...

Two sets of fingers crossed for you...

Cheeseboy said...

I kinda get the gist of what's going on. Praying that all works out. In your favor and Sissy's.

LKP said...


and that's all i have to say.

thanks for the private invite. i'm glad to still be here with ya.

send a 'hoorah' to 'dawg for me.

squeeze sissy for me.

and please have splenda hug ya for me, 'mkay?


Leslie said...

I am honored to know such a strong woman who fights for a sweet little angel who needs her g'ma and g'pa right now. I have no doubt the courts will rule in your favor. They wouldn't put a small child in the hands of crazy people who have threatened you. That would be insane! Just hang in there... it will all work out and you will find peace again. Give sweet Chloee a hug from me and make sure you make time for you. You deserve some M-cat special time doing what you enjoy most. If you need a friend, you know where to find one. I'll even watch Sissy for you to give you and your hubby a much needed break. Love ya!