Sunday, February 6, 2011

Spiritual Sunday - The Language of Love

As we sat in church today, I noticed Splenda's hands.

I don't know if he felt me looking at them and so he looked at them as well, but when he saw the paint, he started to try to scrape it off.  I stopped him.

Anyone who has been around this blog the last little bit knows it's been a rough several weeks.  What I haven't shared is something that I didn't want to be mistakenly judged about, but in order to share the whole story, I have to fess up.

We have bed bugs.  Yep.  The disgusting little creatures that are literally everywhere across the globe right now.  In 5 star hotels to the local pay-by-the-hour motels in the seedy parts of town.  Everywhere in the US and across the world.  Right now, they are epidemic.  Let me clarify - they are NOT related to one's housekeeping.  You can get one hitchhiking from a hotel room and next thing you know, you are infested.

We didn't discover them until a little over a month ago.  Right before Christmas as a matter of fact.  Apparently they came with 'dawgs bed when we moved it out of the apartment he was renting.  He didn't stay at the apartment much, so he didn't know they were lurking there either.  I am betting they are all over in the carpets there and no one knows a thing.  They can live for up to a year.  They are pesky and difficult at best to get rid of.  Their bites aren't big, and are easily mistaken for a regular spider bite and so they can go undetected for long periods of time.  Needless to say, they suck.  On so many levels.  We are lucky that our case is not a complete infestation.  But if you have even one you have to act fast and drastic or you will soon be overrun.

When we discovered them, the first thing Splenda did was go right to the www to figure out the best and fastest way to get rid of them.  We have spend the last 6 weeks trying everything.  Freezing.  Heating.  Steaming.  The Yankee room was the first room we found them.  We sealed it off, started to treat it and thought we had them licked.

A few days later, a bite occurred in my bedroom.  Bigger guns came out.  Splenda disassembled every piece of our furniture while we moved into the Yankee room.  I have been living out of totes and sleeping on a mattress on the floor while he treats our room, bedding, clothing and furniture.

And of course, now that all the furniture is out, we ought to paint right?  So treating and then painting the room.  You know how long that all takes?  Also, tossed my mattress, got a new one, treat it, encase it, etc.
The past week, I have been on my very last nerve.  THE.LAST.NERVE.

Poor Splenda.  Between his job, which is hatefully busy right now, his calling as YM President, the added responsibility of Sissy, and my own health issues, he has had his hands full.  Not enough time to get everything done.  Yet, he saw how unhappy I was with our situation, and though tired as a dog himself, he stayed up last night finishing our room, and assembling the bed so that I could sleep in my own room, in my own bed again.

So as I looked at those hands this morning as we sat quietly in church, I was overcome with love for my husband.  I reviewed everything that has happened over the past 6 weeks.  The loss of Jill.  The new responsibility of Sissy.  The change in our life as we knew it.  His son going back to the Marine's.  The bed bugs that he has single handedly tackled.  He is exhausted.  He's tired.  He's worried.  He's overwhelmed. 
And yet, in his desire to see me happy, he worked long into the night to get our bedroom back to where I could sleep in it and live out of my dressers and closet once more.

The paint still left on his hands, is to me, the tangible symbol of how much he loves me.  I don't need flowers.  I don't need romantic nights out.  I don't need the words.  His actions have done it all.
I looked in his face a little later in the meeting and saw the utter tiredness and weariness in them.  And, the fact that much of that is because he loves me and wants me to be happy and comfortable is just overwhelming.  I am so loved by him.  He loves me.  He wants me to be happy.  He will do anything for me.
I whine, I cry, I bitch, I moan and he says nothing.  He just goes to work doing whatever it takes to make things right.  I married a saint.

As I processed my feelings the rest of church (I may or may not have let my mind wander during other lessons), I was overcome with a very humbling feeling.  Humbled that I would be blessed with such a wonderful husband.  A companion who truly knows what it means to put his wife's happiness above his own.  He exemplifies unselfishness and compassion.  I can only hope that I can learn to live worthy of him and become more like him.

Thank you Splenda.  Thank you for taking care of me, of our children, our granddaughter, our home.  For working long hours to provide for us.  Making sure things run at home.  Battling the damn bed bugs.  And for doing it all without complaint.

I love you more than the sea.  More than the ocean.  To the moon and back.



Teachinfourth said...

It's good to know that you see the blessings you have in life...sorry about the bedlam of bedbugs you've going on right now.

Garden of Egan said...

OK, I'm sitting in front of my stinkin' laptop bawling like a baby.
My hubs is wonderin' "what the heck?"

A wonderful giving husband is a gift and it sounds like you totally SANTA SCORED!

Sounds like your Sunday was awesome...regardless of whether your Super Bowl team won or not!

I'm glad you'll get to have your house back together. What and obnoxious thing to have happen in the middle of all of your horrible stuff.
YOU, my friend, are wonderful!

" Hit It......." said...

You ended up with that man for a reason; he always has your back!

I am sorry about the bed bugs. Bad things happen in 3's. Your done!!


Jewls said...

What a sweet post! What a great guy..and I'm sorry about the bedbugs, sucky! When I was in 6th grade we caught lice at school and it was a similar process...AWFUL!

Pedaling said...

sweet wonderful post.
i feel the same...don't give me flowers or romantic nights out...just love by actions- words are nice, but not necessary. I've known every since you started this blog that you are married to a good, good man!

Heather said...

What a wonderful man! That is a lot to be dealing with right now! That is sweet how he stayed up painting your room so you can get a good nights rest!

I am so sorry about the bed bugs. I am a little worried right now. We are going on a trip soon. We will be staying in hotels. Should I check the beds? I heard they hide in the corners of the beds? Is that true? I would hate to get them because we are renting a house right now and all the walls are wood paneling so we wouldn't be able to paint them. We actually moved to this place because the apartment we lived in had cockroaches. We never saw a one for the 2 years we lived there but then the apartment complex started to tare up the apartment next to ours to make a laundry room. They must of hit a nest because all of the sudden our apartment had them and there was no way I was going to continue living with them so we moved here. We took every precaution so that we wouldn't bring them with us. I am glad to say we don't have them. I feel for you about the bed bugs! I hope they are gone for good!

tammy said...

I'm so afraid with Luvpilot's job that he'll come home with bed bugs on his suitcase! How'd you get rid of them?

Splenda = a keeper for sure.

Scrappy Girl said...

What a fantastic post. I love to read every last word of a post written from the heart. {{hugs}}

Ann Marie said...

I loved this post!

I love your honesty.. and your sweet and true love for your husband. I have felt the same way for my own husband.. and I feel blessed EVERY SINGLE DAY for him.

I have never heard ANYTHING about bed bugs. Thanks for the info.

Your awesome M!

Vanessa said...

It's crappy you are having to deal with all that. I am sorry.

And since I did inherit a bed from you, I must ask....should I be worried and on the lookout for bed bugs?

You don't have to publish this comment if you don't want to.

Lene said...

What an amazing post.

Cherie said...

It totally sucks that you would have to deal with the bugs with everything else going on.
Those are something I worry about because they are becoming so prominent - I knew it was just a matter of time before someone posted about them. Sorry it had to be you.
You are SO SO blessed to have such a good husband! The picture of his working hands are priceless.
I know you have a good good man - And he a good good woman!!

Valerie said...

Bed bugs!!! ACK!!! Now I know to be on the look out. Sorry you had to be the one to blaze the way.
Beatiful, heartfelt post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your life and your wonderful hubby!

gigi said...

You're worth it! I'm sure given the chance he would say the same things about you, his eternal sweetheart. You just go together like salt and pepper. I can't even imagine the trama of dealing with those dang bugs on top of everything else you've had going on! I am truly sorry.

Mae Rae said...

i read this yesterday on FB and could not help but chuckle. You are so blessed! Big shout out the the awesome Splenda.

carma said...

you guys have an amazing relationship. I hope he read this post --

were you able to completely get rid of the bed bugs?? I've heard it is a nightmare to get rid of them.

We were at a hotel this weekend and I was thinking we should inspect the luggage before bringing it in the house to check for hitchhikers...

CountessLaurie said...

I am scared to death of bed begs. Such a pain in the arse to get rid of them.

I am glad that God gave you Splenda. He knew you would need him. And he needs you (you just don't see it from your side of the fence). I love reading that people still love their spouses after a long time. It gives me hope.

Thank you for sharing!!

Just SO said...

Wonderful, wonderful post. You have a true gem in Splenda.

And I hope those bedbugs take a hike soon.

Ordinary Miracles said...

Darn creepy bugs. Makes me want to sanatize my well, everything!

What an amazing Man you have!
I am just the same. I guess my love language would be acts of service.

Anastasia said...

That is amazing. thank you for sharing. I know exactly how you feel.

Btw, how do you know if you have bed bugs? just in case. ;)