Thursday, January 12, 2012

Thankful Thursday

I know right?  It's been a long time since I've done a TT post, but I've something on my mind lately that I most definitely should express gratitude for.

I have to be the luckiest and most blessed woman when it comes to daughter-in-laws(daughter-in-love's)
Serious.  When I realized that I would never have daughters of my own, I feared that once my sons got married, we would lose touch since daughters seem to gravitate to their mother's and sons kind of get the leftover time.  I hoped and prayed that whomever my sons married would feel a part of our family, want to be with us and would want a great relationship with me.

I started with a great example with my own mother-in-law.  I've already mentioned that if we were Catholic, she would qualify for sainthood.  A great woman who has raised a successful family with both sons and daughters with spouses who do their best to honor her.  She has always allowed us to be our own family, while making sure we stay connected with Splenda's siblings and his parents.  I have always had a great example.

When Corbin met and began dating his first wife, I wanted to follow that example.  Circumstances were different and I found myself growing to love her, worry about her and we developed a great bond.  Many nights spent talking, laughing and bonding.  I miss her.  I wish that there was more that someone could have done for her.  With some outside perspective and help from someone much more qualified than me, I have finally come to the realization that her demon's were more than a single person on their own could assuage.  So even though there were offers of help, from every direction, she battled something much more than she could fight.  That being said, she really set the bar for me on the kind of relationship I hoped to have with my sons future spouses.  Someone with whom I could bond with, be friends with and could share fun family times together.

Enter Karalee.  Words cannot even describe how much I love her.  I have seen her calming spirit and force at work with every person in my family.  We loved the times she spent with us while Corb was finishing his training.  Watching her unconditionally love Chloee.  Watching how she instantly bonded with her and loved her more than I could imagine anyone loving someone else's daughter.  And yet, never feeling threatened.  She has done everything possible to honor Jill's memory while at the same time allowing Chloee to move forward and enjoy a stable, loving family home.  I see how much she loves my son.  She is the perfect mate for him.  He's not the same person he was two years ago, and while the USMC played a part in that, he really deserves the credit and in part his wife who came into his life at the precisely the right time.  I love that she will text me, or call me, or send a message on FB just to keep in touch.  I especially loves that she will post special pictures of Chloee that clearly shows what a sweet and happy life that lil punkin is now enjoying.

And now, Montana.  What is so fun and unique about this darling is that I have known her most of her life already.  She grew up one street over.  She and Tuffy went to pre-school together and while she was a couple years younger, they attended the same schools and knew all the same people.  I got to know her better through the Young Women's program.  Watched how she developed leadership skills and strengthened her testimony about being a daughter of God.  I watched her at camps be sweet and friendly to the other girls making sure that they felt included. When Tuffy and she started dating, I couldn't have been happier.  Knowing her family, and how solid they are, eased my mind about what she could bring to Tuffy's life.  Watching the two of them together, is like watching two old souls who have known each other forever.  They function together like clockwork, and a Mom couldn't ask for more than her child to be happy.  And she too, sends me texts, or calls, or fb messages.  If she sees something she thinks I would like, she fires it off to me.  Love that she will come and just hang out for awhile and be perfectly comfortable with it

(found this on my fb wall from her this morning - she knew I would love it)

So one can see, that indeed I am a lucky and blessed woman.  I couldn't have asked for better mates for my two sons.  They are exactly who they should be with, and complete them in a way that I feel like God intended couples to complete each other.  They are all still young, but life's experiences have teach each of them in their unique ways, how to be a good spouse.

Sometimes, when I let my mind really think about it, I am excited to see what kind of outstanding woman Luke will choose as his bride.  I anticipate seeing all three boys happily married, starting their families, and becoming their own units, with Splenda and me on the sidelines simply basking in the happiness that good women bring to good men.  I'm not naive enough to believe that they won't have trials, but I am confident that so far, my married sons have chosen wisely, and have by their sides, the person who will see them reach their full potentials. 

The icing on the cake is that I am blessed to have a great relationship with them and have now gained the daughters that I never birthed myself.


Mae Rae said...

This is so needed. Thank you for all of your thank you's!

Kristin said...

A great post! I too am very thankful for my two wonderful DIL's! They are both a great match for my sons and I appreciate them welcoming me into their life! I just had a fun afternoon taking my just recently graduated from college DIL out to lunch and pedicures as a celebration! So much fun!!


The Blanchard Family said...

That is so cool. As a mommy of two little boys I often have the same thoughts and feelings about my future ;) I pray that I will have a little girl of my own (here on Earth), but this was such a sweet post of how great it can be even if you don't! Love it...hope all is well!

Lazarus said...

Very nice post mCat, who really wrote it?!! Just kidding, it was very heartwarming and, clearly, sincere. Makes me thankfully for something else: formerly complete strangers you meet thru blogging or Facebook who turn out to be pretty cool people... :)

tammy said...

I worry about the same things with having only boys! I hope my daughters-in-law like me and want to spend time with our family, and I hope my boys choose great girls as well. You are truly blessed!

And Love that pic of Chloee!!

wendy said...

What a nice tribute to those gals.
I, having had 4 sons, have many of the same feelings as you. Wanting to have a closeness with my DIL's...and have them feel comfortable with me
and NOT have me Interfere.

(I am tickled though that I got One daughter in the mix)....and so then you have to develop that relationship with the SIL.

Good thing he likes me, since I stay with them all the time when I come to Utah.

YUP !!!! you are blessed.

Just SO said...

Beautiful. You really and truly are blessed. I have seen, first hand, both sides to this equation...through the eyes of a sil not a mil. I have some wonderful, beautiful sister in laws and I've had some absolutely horrid ones as well, unfortunately. I don't know how my mom dealt with them to be honest. I pray that my sons find good women someday.

Sue said...

keep expressing love and appreciation like you did in this post and you will always have amazing relationships with your girls!

I always have felt my sons picked the perfect girls for them. Sure..there have challenges, but our love for one another helps us get through the tough times.

Mamafamilias said...

Much as I know you love your boys - you need some girl-family too. Glad for ya!

Amy said...

I often wonder what is going to happen when my son marries. I pray that he finds a good woman who respects his family as well as hers. I have an ex sister-in-law who did her best to destroy my brother's relationship with us. We are still trying to mend from that one.

Garden of Egan said...

You have me crying on this one.
Thanks for sharing.
I'm feeling a little tender about in-laws and futures and stuff. This post was what I needed to read.
You are a blessing to them as well.

Connie said...

They're very blessed to have you as their mother-in-law.

Tom said...

That is good of you to notice and be grateful for great in laws. I know many people who take that for granted. Some families fall apart when they introduce new members so it is always nice when you get good ones.

Jamie said...

I love this. It is further proof to me that our Heavenly Father really knows us and what we need. You are one lucky lady.