Monday, January 24, 2011
It's no secret that I am an active member of this church. It is the predominant religion in Utah so someone reading this from my neck of the woods will understand our church's belief in the after life. For those who are not familiar - you can go to the main website for more specifics, however, let me explain in a nutshell.
I've debated blogging this, but after much thought I want it recorded for Sissy. She might not remember as she gets older and I don't want her to ever forget. And for anyone else who has lost a loved one, perhaps it can give some peace and comfort to them.
Sissy hasn't asked a whole lot about her Mommy. Once in a while, she will ask, "Why did Mommy die?" but I can count on one hand the times that she has. She is busy with school, family and learning all the new things that a 4 year old learns.
About a week after J passed, Sissy was sleeping and all of a sudden sat straight up and called out "Mommy". I placed my hand on her back, and called her name softly. She turned and looked at me saying, "Mimi?" She laid down, and snuggled into my neck and fell right back to sleep. The next morning, she told me that she had dreamed about her Mommy and that her Mommy told her that she "woved her". It was a quick conversation and she didn't elaborate more.
The next time was more impressive.
There was a small program that was made for her graveside services and it has J's picture on it. It has been hanging on my fridge amongst the many other pictures and treasures that you tend to collect on the front of that particular appliance.
Several mornings ago, Sissy was opening the fridge to get milk for her cereal when her attention was drawn to the picture of her Mommy. Our conversation went like this:
Sissy: "Mimi, I dweamed about Mommy wast night. She tawked to me."
Me: '"She did? How great - what did she say?"
Sissy: " I was asweep and den she was tawking to me. She said she woved me and in my heart"
Me: "Sis - that is so nice! Did you feel happy? Was Mommy happy?"
Sissy: " Yeah, she's happy and she woves me in my heart."
And then her Lucky Charms were on the forefront of her mind and our talk moved onto pouring the milk and getting a spoon.
I have thought about this for the past several days. What a tender mercy from a loving God in Heaven. He knows if one of his children needs a special blessing and He finds a way to provide it. Maybe Sis needed just a couple of quick "touch bases" with Mom. I don't know- she isn't particularly verbal about it right now. But I am thankful for a Heavenly Father that allows a mother from one side to visit her child on the other, Spirit to Spirit, and remind her how much she is loved. Not once, but twice. I can't know what it is in Sissy's heart and head right now, but her Father in Heaven does. And He will make sure she is taken care of. That her needs are met.
It was also a reminder to me about how important Sissy is to so many people. Her Mother is trusting that we will do the right things for her. Her Father is trusting us to take care of her until he finishes his duty to our country. Her other grandparents are trusting that she will always know of their love for her. Her Heavenly Father is trusting us with this precious, precious soul who will have many struggles ahead of her. He trusts that we will look to Him for guidance, and in return, I feel like He will let her Mommy stay close by.
Tender Mercy indeed.