Obama v Bush

Here is what Obama needs set up to talk to a few school children. Not much room for kids. Still needs to have the teleprompters. The secret service guy in back keeps eyes out for any terrorist-type-8-year-old with tea partying parents.

Here’s what the last guy needed

Need to see it again?

Hmmm.........

(Thanks for the funny email LL!)

Why didn't I think of this?

Solution

An engineer (ex-NASA project director) has what I think is

the near perfect solution for airport security!



Begin forwarded message:

*Date: *February 3, 2010 1:35:01 PM PST

*Subject: **Problem solved for airport and federal bldg security*


*Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body

scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into

that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device

you may have on you.*


*It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this

crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long

and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift..*


*Case Closed!*

Wish I had thought of this.  Maybe we can get a petition going for legislature.
PS - thanks for the email TR

An Open letter to the Grim Reaper

Dear Mr. Grim Reaper,
So far this year you have taken away my favorite actor Patrick Swayze, and favorite actress Farrah Fawcett.
Just so you know, my favorite politician is Barack Obama.

Thank you,
M-Cat

**Thanks for the funny today CA**

They Candy Man can, I mean the Government can.....

Funny......sorta

Food for thought.......

A great email sent to me by the EG. I keep telling her to post on her own blog, but sadly, she is a blog slacker.

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table and next to the barbecue.

Then came the shit. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table... everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore! So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.


Now let's see... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 or 6 families; you have to wait 6 or 8 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than the ours are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. ..

Drafting guys over the age of 60

A well thought out plan that makes perfect sense to me.......Drafting Guys over 60----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-


New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!


I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a**hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical person.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real stretch.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million mad old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ....with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol.....we will have it secured the first night!

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

Thanks BFC for the email

Top 10 Indicators that your employer has changed to Obama's Health Care plan

BFC sent this to me a couple of days ago.....I am STILL giggling!

The Top 10 Indicators that your employer has changed to Obama's Health Care plan:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is…. "Embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape!!!!!