Bryce Canyon half and Kiva Koffeehouse

So I went down to Bryce canyon with some runner friends to ran a little half marathon. Ate pasta. Listened to some really bad karaoke.   Slept in a tent. On the ground. No air mattress.  Thus, little sleep.  It rained and we got soaked.  Paced the 2:10 time. Came in 20 seconds too fast.  Watched my friends get awards 'cause they are so damn fast.  Got introduced to some new energy drinks.  Didn't get ONE.SINGLE.PICTURE.  I cannot believe it.


BUT - the real highlight for me was the drive home via the scenic route.  The Fulton kids who let me tag along have done this race several times and have learned how to play it just right.  They know this area and the must do's.  Instead of the boring I-15 route, we went slightly more east, and through Escalante.  The scenery was AMAZING!


Kiva Koffeehouse is a small bed and breakfast that was built back in the nineties.  One of the Fulton siblings had actually BUILT it!  It was constructed very meticulously and to the exact specifications of the owner at the time.  The woodwork is incredible.  And all by hand.  Simply amazing.

As beautiful as the structure itself is, the view is breathtaking.  It's built with huge windows overlooking the southeastern mountains.  I don't even know exactly where we were at, but it was fantastic!

All of these pics are from my cell phone, so not the greatest.

This one I swiped from Joe's FB page, his phone takes much better pictures!

So in a nutshell.  Bryce canyon half?  I came, I ran, I'll do it again, but next year will race and not pace.

Escalante, the Kiva Koffeehouse and the scenic route home?  Yes, yes and yes, but with Splenda Daddy along next year.

Thanks Fulton sib's - you freakin ROCK!

And next week, when I hit Moab?  I WILL be taking pictures!

Spiritual Sunday .....because you asked

I feel more than a little weird with this post, but after some careful consideration and kind feedback from others, I've decided to go ahead and pull the trigger.

Splenda Daddy and I were asked to speak today in our church.  After the ordinance of the Sacrament, members of the congregation are asked on occasion to speak (always beforehand so they can prepare).  Talks should be regarding doctrine and gospel principles.  Most often speakers use talks from our church leaders to supplement as well as scriptures.

When Splenda and I were asked to speak, we were allowed to choose our own topics.  I know right?  Little dangerous for this little mkitty to be given that much liberty.

Anyway, we did it.  I felt good about it.  And, most surprisingly, several kind people have asked for a copy.  That seems odd to me, but I am humbled.

So below is the transcript of the talk I gave.  Yes, I took too much time.  I short changed Splenda Daddy and his turn.  I owe him.

The purpose of this post is to allow the few friends who have asked for a copy to have it without me having to send emails, to journal it for posterity, and if it happens to inspire someone else, give them a sense of relief or answer a question they may have, then well, that's icing on the cake.

It is in NO WAY intended to be for any other purpose.  (I don't care to toot my own horn.  Unless I pull a BQ and then the whole damn world will hear about it)

And lastly, this is for my Mom.  If she had been in the US - she would have been there to support us.

Given July 8, 2012

I’ve had so many thoughts, ideas and impressions that it’s been difficult to put anything together with any kind of coherency.  Late last week and early this week I started querying friends and family for ideas on a topic for today.  The most common theme suggested was to use running or racing as an analogy for a gospel principle.  Um, really?  Been there, done that.  We all know that is my modus operandi and really, if by now, you STILL don’t get that running IS basically life itself, than I don’t know how to help you.

My best friend offered the idea of speaking about the parable of the Prodigal son. I asked Corbin what he thought might be a good topic for me to speak on.  Can you guess his suggestion?  Basically the same thing.   He reminded me of all the wonderful experiences our family has had over the past year.  I also asked him to share some of his story and the lessons learned along his own journey back to the gospel.  So between him, Elder Ballard, President Uchtdorf, President Hinckley, and Elder Andersen, I am going to try and convey the message that Heavenly Father wants me to convey and that you will HEAR what He wants you to hear.

In April 2012 conference, Elder Ballard compared the Liahona to the modern GPS:

“Now brothers and sisters, we have available to us a tool even more remarkable then the best GPS.  Everyone loses his or her way at some point, to some degree.  It is through the promptings of the Holy Ghost that we can be brought safely back onto the right path, and it is the atoning sacrifice of the Savior that we can return us home.”

I don’t know that there isn’t a person here that hasn’t experienced the loss of a family member, friend or child in the gospel or themselves for that matter.  Based on the whole plan of free agency, we are allowed whether or not we want to accept and live the gospel principles or not.

Elder Ballard further said:

“So what can we do to not become lost?  First, may I suggest that we prioritize. Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to and in support of what happens inside your home.  Remember President Harold B Lee’s counsel that “the most important ….work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes” and President David O. McKay’s timeless “no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”  Organize your personal lives to provide time for prayer and scriptures and family activity.  Give your children responsibilities in the home that will teach them how to work.  Teach them that living the gospel will lead them away from the filth, promiscuity, and violence of the Internet, media and video games.  They will not be lost, and they will be prepared to handle responsibility when it’s thrust upon them.”

I know that I have read that sentence several times and I still sort of stop on it.  He just said they will not be lost and that they will be prepared to handle responsibility.  What about those of us who have a wayward child, spouse, other family members or friends?  We did what we were commanded to, the best way we knew how, and yet – right now they are still lost?

I read a quote somewhere, maybe even Facebook, that says something like “True Faith is not just faith in the Lord, but faith in the Lord’s timetable”

I can testify that those are TRUE.WORDS.

But how do we get through the times when we feel lost ourselves or are heartbroken with someone else’s decision to not live the gospel the way we feel they should?  How do we handle the strain it places on relationships and our own frustration and often anger? 

Sometimes these differences will cause huge rifts in families and friendships that instead of bonding us closer together for strength, we find that we have not only allowed someone else’s free agency to divide us, anger us, but also slide us into becoming judgmental and critical. 

President Uchtdorf said in his April conference address:

“Since those first days the spirit of envy and hatred has led to some of the most tragic stories in history.  It turned Saul against David, the sons of Jacob against their brother Joseph, Laman and Lemuel against Nephi and Amalickiah against Moroni.  I imagine that every person on earth has been affected in some way by the destructive spirit of contention, resentment, and revenge.  Perhaps there are even times when we recognize this spirit in ourselves.  When we feel hurt, angry, or envious, it is quite easy to judge other people, often assigning dark motives to their actions in order to justify our own feelings of resentment.  Of course we know this is wrong.  The doctrine is clear.  We all depend on the Savior; none of us can be saved without Him.  Christ’s atonement is infinite and eternal.  Forgiveness for our sins comes with conditions.  We must repent, and we must be willing to forgive others.  Jesus taught: ‘Forgive one another, for he that forgiveth not..[stands] condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin’ and ‘Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy’

 Of course, these words seem perfectly reasonable – when applied to someone else.  We can so clearly and easily see the harmful results that come when others judge and hold grudges.  And we certainly don’t like it when people judge us.  But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate.  Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one.  We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt.”

And going further into the issue of judging others, President Uchtdorf said in the same April address:

“This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon.  When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple.  We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children.  God is our Father.  We are His children.  We are all brothers and sisters.  I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick.  I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw.  It was attached to the back of a car whose drive appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson.  It read. ‘Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you’”.

In October 2001, President Hinckley said of the story of the prodigal son in Luke Chapter 15 “It is large enough to encompass all mankind, for are we not all prodigal sons and daughters who need to repent and partake of the forgiving mercy of our Heavenly Father and then follow His example?”

President Uchtdorf also says:

“Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness and resentment.

We are not perfect.

The people around us are not perfect.  People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger.  In this mortal life it will always be that way.  Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances.  Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things.  That is the Lord’s way. ………Let go of judgment…….Love one another…..Forgive one another…..The merciful will obtain mercy.”

So now what?______________

We realize that everyone has free agency to choose, we are allowed the same privilege ourselves.  When loved ones choose differently, we’ve been counseled on how to behave and react.  So now what?

The bottom line will be our own discipleship.

In Elder Andersen’s conference address titled “What Thinks Christ of Me?” he says:

“Jesus’s call ‘Come follow me’ is not only for those prepared to compete in a spiritual Olympics.  In fact, discipleship is not fully comparable to a lengthy marathon.  IN truth, it is a lifelong migration toward a more celestial world.

Wherever you now find yourself on the road of discipleship, you are on the right road, the road toward eternal life.  Together we can lift and strengthen one another in the great and important days ahead.  Whatever the difficulties confronting us, the weaknesses confining us, or the impossibilities surrounding us, let us have faith in the Son of God, who declared, “all things are possible to him that believeth’”

We question ourselves.  Have we done our very best?  And how do we realize it, release the grief of others choices and let it go?

A few years ago, I had an experience where I finally understood what this meant, and I happened to write it up in a blog post:

Lately, our prelude players have been young men and women who are working on their piano/organ skills.  The young adults or teenagers play the prelude music and then someone more experienced takes over for the accompaniment of hymns.

Today, I was VERY early.  Like 40 minutes early.  I found a bench up near the front and settled in for some scripture reading and perusing my material for an upcoming YW lesson.

At about 15 minutes before the start of the meeting, I watched as the D family made their way in.  The eldest son is J, whom we first started interaction with when he was 12 and in our Sunday School class.  He's now in his mid twenties, completed a service mission in the Salt Lake area, and has become a fine, upstanding and remarkable young man. 

Oh yeah, J is blind.

I watched as his parents lovingly and carefully escorted him up the chapel aisle, and assisted him up the three steps to the stand.  They guided him gently to the organ and helped him sit.  He took a few minutes to orient himself, and they guided his fingers to the right keys.  Within a few minutes, the chapel began to fill with beautiful, perfectly played music.

J's dad returned to the congregation benches, while Mom sat down in a choir chair near the organ.

Watching J, not only immediately softened my heart, but I began to think about some recent events and my feelings about being a parent.

When our babies are born, we have such high hopes and aspirations for them it doesn't matter what religion you are, or IF you are religious, we all have ideals, values, and morals we want our children to learn and to embody.  We want them to be honest, full of integrity, educated, and to be contributing, functioning members of society.  If we do happen to be affiliated with a particular religion or faith, we tend to want them to choose likewise.  We know how happy it makes us, and we as parents, want the same, nay, BETTER for our kids.  We want them to be sublimely......... happy.

What happens when your dreams for your children don't become realized?  What happens when all that you have hoped for, prayed for, taught them, aspired for them, goes by the wayside?  Until a parent experiences that disappointment for themselves, I don't think it can be understood.  And even then, each of our experiences are different and unique. 

As friends or acquaintances, we try hard to understand.  We attempt to convey our sympathies and offer words of encouragement, but too often, we miss the mark.  It's easy with our mouths to say, "that's too bad about your kid" while nodding sadly, but in your heart you are really saying 'my kid(s) will NEVER do that.'  You might even convince yourself that you are immune.  You're doing all the right things.  Family prayer, scripture study, family nights, individual time with each child.  You are supportive, you attend every parent/teacher conference, you drive the carpool, you're the friggin PTA president for crying out loud!  There is no way that anything other than perfection will cross your door.  Your biggest challenge will be to decide which college to choose out of the several your kid has been accepted to.

To that I say, POPPYCOCK.  I'm refraining from using the BS word since it's the Sabbath and all, but really.  Crap. And trust me, I know.

Just as J's parents walked beside him down the chapel aisle, guided him up the steps and towards the organ, even helping him position and place his fingers, they eventually had to step away and let him play on his own.

As parents we do all we can.  We teach, we show by example, we correct when necessary, but at some point, our kids are on their own.  We can only sit nearby at the ready in case further assistance is asked for.  That's it.

We can no more accept the credit for a "well-turned out" offspring than we can the blame for the one who is not measuring up to her/his full potential.

So why do we beat ourselves up about it?  Why do we allow ourselves to feel the sting of disappointment over something we never really had control over to begin with?  Why do we continue to compare ourselves and our kids against others and their supposed success?  Am I the only one to do this?

Well,  no more.  I've finally come to the realization that for a small period of time, albeit an important one, I was a central figure in my children's lives.  They looked to me and their father for guidance, reassurance, instruction, and love.  We provided it and anything else we could, in the best way we knew how.  Then, they became adults and we are now merely background players.  We are friends who offer support, encouragement and advice if they want it,   but now, they are poised at the keyboard and their fingers will do the playing.  Not mine.

I relinquish not only any false sense of control I had, but also any guilt or pride with the results.  They are not MY results.  Once, they were my babies, my little boys, my wrestling teenagers, and now my best friends, but ultimately they are fellow adults who are making their way through their lives just like I am.  We enhance one another, enrich each other's lives and bring joy and happiness to our family as a whole, and most certainly are forever intertwined........ but we are not a direct reflection of each other.  That is simply not in the plan.

Instead, I am going to sit back and relax.  I'm going to enjoy my sons, enjoy my granddaughter and look brightly to the future and whatever it may bring.  I've cut the chain of guilt and regret, and instead have started a new chain of acceptance, love and happiness. 

And, when the occasion does arise, that I hear one of my babies call out 'Mom?', I am going to be grateful I get to answer.   

On that day, I realized that Heavenly Father had accepted my best efforts and that He knew I had tried my hardest.  The “faith in the Lord’s timeline” became much clearer to me.

As many of you know my son Corbin made choices, experienced challenges and learned some life lessons in a most difficult way. I previously mentioned that I had asked him to share some of his story, his journey, from his point of view.  I figured, I have shared mine, and I wanted to hear his:

Over the last 8 years, I have gone from slowly leaving the gospel and the church, to completely living away from it. Now, I have brought the gospel back into my life and the life of my family over the course of this last year. 

Back when I was slowly falling away, it was hard to me to accept that my parents were responsible for holding standards of living within their home. That’s what good parents do. I would go to church with them every Sunday because I had to, and while I was there, I learned that our gospel is essentially based on the fact that we are supposed to exercise our agency. Make choices for ourselves.  However, because the things that I wanted to choose to do did not always go hand in hand with the church, the parent-child routine kicked in and all we did was fight. 

I was confused. I looked at my parents as hypocrites, although they were not and would never intend to be as such. They kept telling me I HAD to stay in the church to be happy. HAD to be home at 1200. HAD to live temple worthy. Yet, their whole notion went against exactly what I learned in church. The plan is for each of us to choose the gospel for ourselves or not choose it. 

I felt I wasn't given much of a choice as a teenager, so I attempted to gain what I thought was control by doing what I wanted to do. Kind of like being pushed into a corner when you are trying to leave a room to get fresh air. I was going to learn by experience, rather than instruction. This was a very humbling and challenging experience to say the least. As most know, I had a child out of wedlock, married because it was expected, got divorced and basically lived the lifestyle of the self destructive. It was apparent that I was only pleased on temporary occasions and not truly happy. 

During this whole time that I was away from the gospel entirely, my parents and I eventually apologized and made promises to not treat each other the way we did before and chose to become better friends. We decided not to judge each others lifestyles, nor did we support them. Whenever mom gave me money just as a kind gesture or whatever her loving intention was, she always told me, "Buy what you want, just no beer or smoking stuff." It showed me she trusted me in a sense, loved me in a sense and didn't judge me. 

Because of this example, I really began to look at my parents differently. I saw them for the people that they are and not for the parents that they were to me growing up. They are the most incredible people I know. My father has wisdom that most people would pay for and my mother has strength and character that you can’t teach to anyone.   After ending a toxic relationship I was in, I decided other changes should happen to. I evaluated my life and decided the Marine Corps is what I absolutely needed to do for a number of reasons. Personally, morally and financially. I would mold Corbin Catmull (The Marine) from Corbin Catmull the self-destructing, unhappy, in debt, undisciplined, high level potential that I was. What triggered this? Simple. My family’s example. 

My parents became my friends, yet they maintained living their lives the same as they always had. “The Gospel is strong in this home, we hit the church on Sundays. Uphold our callings and responsibilities in the church and then comes the rest.” 

For those who wonder, "Will my kid ever decide that the church is what is the best for them and come back to the gospel?" 

Here is my answer for you. It doesn't matter. The plan you agreed to come to this earth to fulfill did not have a part that said, force your children and judge your children to understand the gospel and live in its standards. Rather, it says to love, support, honor, help, teach and lead your children. 

One of my favorite leadership principles is found in the Marine Corps and it has really helped my marines trust me when I have been required to lead and be responsible for them. It states, "Know your Marines and look out for their welfare." If you know your children, befriend your children and lookout for your children, they will trust you. Just as I did with my parents. They applied these principles without knowing them.

By no means do I say my parents should have let me do what I wanted all the time without discipline or structure. I realize that I should have respected their home and responsibilities as parents. However, when they found the perfect balance of Justice, Judgment, Decisiveness, Integrity, Dependability, Tact, Initiative, Endurance, Bearing, Unselfishness, Courage, Knowledge, Loyalty and Enthusiasm, they did this in every area of our relationship. 

 Every day I was away from the gospel I spent wishing that I could just be happy. It’s up to us using OUR OWN agency outlined in the Plan of Salvation, to determine if that happiness will come through the Gospel and the church. If one doesn't choose that, it’s still all part of the plan of free agency. 

Please know that I share this NOT as a pat on the back or a TOOT my own horn, in fact, I have cut a lot out of his kind words for Splenda and me out of it, so his message could come through.  And that is a message of hope and understanding.  I think he’s made a profound statement when he tells us that it doesn’t matter.  The plan we chose was a plan of free agency.

As parents, please NEVER, EVER give up.  Love your children no matter what and unconditionally.  Your love and approval of them as human beings and children of God should not hinge on whether or not they are living the gospel the way you think and feel like they should.  Heavenly Father’s love for us is unconditional; we need to learn to love in the same manner.  Without criticism, or cruel judgments.  Just love.

As a youth or even an adult who feel like they may be “lost”, you are never too far to come back.  You are never so lost that it’s too late.  The prodigal son spoken of in the parable in Luke was at his darkest hour and deepest pit when we returned to the outreached and loving arms of his father.  We too, no matter where we are on the road can return to a loving Heavenly Father who accepts us with love, compassion and mercy. 

As we happily welcome our own “prodigals” we further exemplify the discipleship that is spoken of in this article I had found and posted on my blog a long time ago.

Author Unknown
"I'm a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.

I'm a disciple of His and I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure.

I'm done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.

I don't have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded.

I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.

My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven.

My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is reliable and my mission is clear.

I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary.

I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus!
I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He does come for His own, He'll have no problems recognizing me. My colors will be clear!"

It is a blessing and a miracle for which I am eternally grateful for seeing my own “prodigal” become this kind of disciple.

**Words in red belong to the brethren whom were quoted**

**Words in blue belong to Corbin**

**The Anon post belongs to Anon**

**The rest are mine, and are copyrighted

You CAN do it. I promise.

**Disclaimer - this post has been on my mind for awhile and have held off because I most certainly do not want it to come across as a "Look at me toot my own horn".  My motives are pure.**

At work I am so inspired by others who come in, ready for a good pair of shoes, a goal in mind and the drive to get in to shape.  They recognize the need for a healthy lifestyle and the benefits of being physically fit.

Sometimes though, as motivated as one might feel one day, we all know that sometimes those good intentions go right out the window.  We've all been there, we've all done it.

The purpose of this post?  To remind you to NEVER GIVE UP!

So you have a bad day.  You don't exercise.  You eat more than you should.  Your food selection is poor.  So what?  It's a DAY.  Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, put your big girl panties back on and tackle tomorrow.

I was a little "thick" in high school. I liked running so that was my exercise of choice.  Not on the track team, but just on my own here and there as a way to try and keep up with society's message of how I should look.

After I got married, those newlywed pounds crept on for the first several months but then, my best friend got married and I was a bridesmaid that had to fit in a dress.  I dieted.  Really cut back on what I ate, and went to a gym.  I soon found myself at a steady, healthy weight.  Feeling good.

I stayed there right up through my babies (with minor fluctuations) until right after my third.  I found it harder to get back to where I felt good.  So, I went back to some aerobic classes, even started teaching on my own and basically was able to eat what I wanted since I was working out so much, often two or three times a day depending on how many classes I taught.

And then my kids hit their teenage years.  Ever raised a teenager?  Then you know exactly what I mean. Instead of focusing on feeling healthy and good, I self-soothed with food. By no means, did I actually realize what I was doing, it's only now in hindsight.  Those years were stressful, full of worry about my kids and about my parenting skills.  Food made everything better.  Clearly subconsciously, but it is what it is.

Then I saw this picture

(yes, that is me in the gray sweater)

Taken at Jill's baby shower about 5.5 years ago.  I looked at that and didn't even recognize myself.  What the heck?  I got fat and NO ONE TOLD ME!

Sure, I was buying bigger pants and tops, but somehow that didn't register with me.  My blood pressure was getting high and my cholesterol was over the top, and the chest pains?  Well, they were stress.  I didn't recognize ONE of these symptoms as unhealthy.  And for crying out loud, I WORKED IN THE HEALTH CARE INDUSTRY!  I should have known better, but I think I did what a lot of us do and that is go into denial.  If I don't acknowledge it, then it's not happening right?  I didn't even let my brain wrap around the fact that I was unhealthy.

After that pic and the reality hitting me, I decided I couldn't live like that anymore.  Not just for vanity's sake but for my health's sake.  Splenda Daddy and I joined the local gym and started going on a regular basis.  I hid myself behind baggy sweats and oversized t-shirts.  I pulled from my memory all the things I use to teach in classes, and incorporated them into my self training.  I was too intimated to even set foot in a class yet, so I kept to myself working out in the fitness room pretending to be a part of the wall.  It was a little scary in the gym.  Luckily we go to one that isn't full of young, tan and fit kids, but rather the rec center that is mostly people our age, just trying to keep in shape.  Still, I was intimidated.

Thankfully, we kept at it, and little by little I saw some of the weight come off.  I had to do the unthinkable and weigh myself which really hurt and made me even more determined to do SOMETHING.  But now, I had a number to start with and a goal to get back to where I was when I felt the best.

Unfortunately, I hit the plateau that is so common.  Lose some and then you get stuck.  Okay, so I had been exercising but not really paying attention to the food that I ate.  I started to look at labels and count calories.  Wow, were my eyes opened!  Thinking I had been good with just eating some graham crackers, once I looked at the calories, I realized that I was in fact undermining my exercise efforts by still taking in more calories than I was burning.

So, I started keeping track of my calories.  Every day.
I got the courage to start going to classes, and even though I hid in the back, soon Tiburon befriended me and before I knew it, I had a network of friends to look forward to being with at the gym.  Classes became easier to attend, I started a couple of personal training sessions and began in earnest the journey of losing the baggy sweatpants and oversize t-shirts to actual work out clothes : )

It took about a year, but I lost the weight.  I got back to where I am in the size of clothes that is reasonable for me, but more importantly, better health.  My blood pressure is amazing as is my resting heart rate.  Cholesterol levels good (even with terrible genes), and chest pain?  Sometimes, but still stress related.  I guess being a type A personality does that to you.

I got invited to run my first 5k with some girls from the gym.  It sounded intriguing so I tagged along.  Well, wouldn't you know it?  The adrenaline of a race, running, and being surrounded by others was intoxicating.  The topper was that I ran fast enough to place in my age group.  I won a prize!

That was it.  I was hooked.  Running fit every element of what I enjoyed in exercise, and racing satisfied my competitive side.

The rest is, as they say, history.  6 marathons under my belt, too many half's, 10k's and 5k's to count, and several triathlons.  Add in the cycling that I was also introduced to and use as cross training, and I can say that I have been plenty busy.  A lifestyle has developed.  One that includes being active.  Doing things.  Going places. Competing.  All things that now define me.  I run.  I cycle.  I swim.  I compete with myself.

Back to the purpose of this post?  Simply to show that you can do it.  I have told my story as a way of explanation, but I really hope that even if it inspires one person to make a change for the better in their lifestyle, then it will have been worth it.  Not that everyone needs to be little and weigh a "certain" number of lbs, but that we are healthy, fit and active.  And I also realize that running isn't for everyone.  Find what you LOVE and then do it.  Do it alot!  I promise it's worth the effort. It's worth dragging yourself to the gym or the tack or the pool at sometimes ungodly hours.  It's worth turning down an extra brownie.  It's worth the soreness in your muscles.  The pay off is so much more than any sacrifice made to get there.  Start small, and go from there.  It's worth it.

And if you ever need some inspiration, come back - look at the photo's and remind yourself YOU CAN DO IT.


**Please don't start an exercise program without consulting your doctor first**


**And please, if you choose to leave a comment, tell me how you're working on getting fit and what your goals are so I can cheer you on!**

Sometimes it's better to not wear the Garmin and just run

I usually run something on Independence day.  A 5k, a 10k, usually something just for fun.  This year, I didn't have anything on the books, but figured I'd find something at the last minute or even pop in a bike ride if nothing appealed.

Then I was contacted on Facebook through some running friends that a non-profit organization was looking for some experienced runners to help with their cause.

PTTF - Push to the Finish is an organization that pairs a runner with a disabled child to push them in their wheelchair for the 5k or 10k.  It allows a child, or even an adult, an opportunity to participate in a race when their physical challenges prevent them to do so on their own power.

Well, did I ever jump on that!  I love those kinds of things!  I signed up and within a day had an email asking if I was available on the 4th for a 5k in Sandy Utah.  Uh.....YEAH, I'm available!

After some instructions to meet at the start line a half hour early, and get introduced to the child I would push, I quickly added it to the calendar and informed Splenda Daddy that he was either running it with me or he was taking pictures.

I don't know if I have ever looked forward to a 5k more in my life.

I was given the pleasure of pushing little Megan.  I am unclear of her physical challenges and quite frankly, it doesn't even matter to me.  She wanted to participate and I wanted to help her.  She is non-verbal so we communicated via smiles.  

(l-r, Angela and Charles pushing Joe, me and Megan, Michelle and Easton)

All through the race, I would talk to her and tell her what we were doing: 

"Here's a big hill Meggie, let's push through it"  *smile*  

"Lookie sweetheart, we get to go downhill should I go faster?" *smile*

"Okay, I know the sun is in your face right now, I'll try to hurry to the shade" *smile*

"Let's go catch Easton (her brother) and beat him" *smile*

"Meggie - you are doing so awesome!" *smile*

And then as we neared the finish line and she could hear all the cheers along with mine, her smile grew even bigger!

Not one word was exchanged between us the entire 30 minutes or so that we ran but I felt her strong spirit and enjoyment of participating in something that gave her a sense of pleasure.  

As I look back on it, I'm not sure who enjoyed it more.  Me or Megan.  I think she gave me just as much of a great experience as she received herself.  Maybe even more.

Looking forward to the next opportunity that I have to participate, it is truly a privilege.

*if you are interested, have experience running at least a 5k solidly, OR have a child who would like to participate and would like PTTF's services, hit the link above, go to their website and get involved.  We need more of "people helping people" experiences in our lives*

Ode to my bed and why I love her so

I know right, doesn't she look wonderful?  I realize it's no four poster, oak, with luxurious bedding, but she is mine.

And I love her.  I love my bed.  More than anything else in my house, I love my bed.

Now, some people may begin to question my sanity.  Never fear, I am completely and totally in the clear about this.

A few years back, Splenda Daddy did some research, some trying things out, and came to the conclusion that a Tempurpedic bed would be the best for his troublesome sleep and painful neck.  I thought it was comfy enough and really just wanted him to sleep better so whatev's as far as I was concerned.

It was heaven.  Pure and simple heaven.  And then some months ago, Splenda noticed he was having some trouble again and after some more research discovered that perhaps we needed to add an additional Tempurpedic topper.  So he did.

I didn't think it could be any better, but was I ever surprised.

I want to be here all day.  Not in the depressed, "I can't get out of bed" way (although there are those days - no lie), but more in the "this is so comfortable and such a safe place for me that I never like to leave"

Maybe that's it.  It's a safe place.

I can nestle in under the covers.  It conforms to my body and as I lay, I just sink right into it.  I pull my pillows under my head and neck and burrow down.  Its safety is all encompassing.  As I wiggle in and get the perfect position, I literally hear and feel my body sigh with happiness and relaxation.

I can do just about anything from my bed.  Watch TV, eat dinner, blog, read blogs, keep up on facebook and my pokes, talk on the phone, read, play games on my kindle, snuggle my dogs, talk and talk and talk with Splenda....... and sleep.  I like sleeping.

I've started thinking about why I am so drawn to my bedroom and my bed.  Why do I choose to spend so much time here?  Why, unless I have actual agenda items, do I always find my way back to the comfort of my safe place? Most people would migrate to the couch or the family room.  Even better, most people find projects to keep them busy and creative.  Not me.  I want my bedroom and my bed.  Why?

And then it dawned on me.

Safe.  It's completely and totally safe.  It's mine.  It has offered the most comfort to me over the past several years, so the compassion for me is pure.  My bed has no ulterior motive.  No agenda.  No selfish purpose other than to offer me refuge.  To envelope me in it's comfortable safety net.  I can feel it exhale with happiness, at the same time that I sigh with peace the minute I crawl under the covers.

If it's a day that I just don't want to leave, my bed is okay with it.  No harsh words, no self-recrimination, no judging, no pep talks about being productive, no concerned voices about being depressed and "you really just need to get out of bed".  Instead,  an understanding that some days, we just need our safe place, our comfort, our solitary time.  And yet, on those days when I pop out, straighten the covers and walk away, I catch a glimpse of a smile from my pillows and a wave from my bedspread as it wishes me a good day and a promise of "see you later my friend".  I can walk away knowing that she is there waiting for me when I need her or just plain want to crawl back in and feel safe.

And there it is.  I have actually found some words to express this odd attraction to my bed and my bedroom.

She is safe.
She loves me.
She comforts me.
She is a refuge.
She is safe.

Gosh, I love my bed.

 But now, I am getting out, straightening the covers and doing something without her for awhile.  No fear, my friend, I'll be back and we both know we'll secure in our relationship.

A little movie

Hoping YT doesn't block this......



Happy Sealing guys!

I L Y P I

xoxo
momCat

Time to catch my breath and bask in the smile on my face

Seriously, I am just barely recovering and need to get all this journaled before I move forward too much.

So the Chloeefornia kids came in town.  YES!  Best time ever!  From the minute they pulled into the driveway, to the minute they pulled out, it felt like every single minute, every single second was scheduled to the hilt.  So many friends and family to catch up with, see and spend time with!

First thing Chloee did was to walk around the house, checking every room and telling me to "remember this Mimi?".  The joy on her face was incredible.  Seeing Corbin and Karalee's face as they walked in the front door was amazing.  You know that feeling of "coming home?", it was in prime form for them!

"Mimi - take a picture of me and Jack"

"Mimi, take a picture of me and Poppa"

"Mimi, take a picture of me with your swim stuff"

"Mimi, take a picture of me with the sprinklers"

Movies

"Mimi!  Look at me!  Take a picture!"

We started out the weekend with a little Relay race called Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay.  My beloved team "Legally Dead" had room for one more runner so Corb got the spot.  We were so excited to run together!

The bummer came when Corb woke up the morning of the start and was sick.  Between being sick and the elevation change with running, he was in bad shape.  He tried to gut it up and work through it, but by the end of his first leg, he was in bad shape and the medics told him no more running.  Splenda and Kar came to get him and the rest of us grabbed his miles and pushed on.

No shame in passing a fat cow and chalking up the kill

Love my teammates, love the relay (even though we complain every year by leg 2) and excited for next year!

The next week was busy with temple arrangements for the kids.  In my church, we perform our marriage ceremonies in the Temple, believing that with certain ordinances in place (from back when Christ was on the earth and established His church), that couples and families can be sealed forever.  Meaning that once death happens and we pass to the other side, we have the opportunity to remain as family units and as husband and wife.  It's such a beautiful thing and one of the many gospel principles of which I have a strong testimony.  Being allowed in the Temple requires a commitment to living gospel principles.  We believe that it is such a Holy place that one should and must be worthy to enter it.  Therefore, there are certain gospel elements that one must be faithful to, to earn the privilege of entering the Temple.  If a couple is not eligible when they first marry, they can have a civil marriage (til death do ye part), and then after a year, if qualified can then have their marriage sealed in the temple.  If they have living children, those children are then also brought in and sealed to them as an eternal family unit.  Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!  Just think, you have your children as yours forever.  Your family is intact for all eternity!

Anywhoodle, this was the main reason for the kids to come to Utah.  They had been working on and preparing themselves to enter the Temple, receive their own endowments (gifts and covenants made with God) and then have their family sealed.  So the week was busy with getting all the temple clothing purchased, and an open house celebration planned.  In addition to making visits to various family members and friends.

Wednesday, they went to the Jordan River Temple to receive their endowments.  It was pure bliss.  To be in the Temple with Splenda, Corb, Kar, Luke, so many family and friends was such a great experience.  In the Temple, there is a feeling of love and peace that I have never found outside it's walls.

Of course, more partying with family and friends.

First a little race for me - American Fork half

Me and my cousin Anita that I haven't seen since my Dad died.  Like 31 years ago!  So fun to meet up with her at the start line!

(1:54.21)

This was a race for cancer and you could put someone's name on your bib that you were running in memory of.   Rob, Kevin and Nonalee....love and miss them,

A Litster family reunion,

some golfing with the boys,
some movie attending for the girls

 And then came Saturday evening

Corb and his little family gathered at the Salt Lake Temple, along with family and friends who had current temple recommends (document that shows your worthiness to enter), gathered in a special sealing room to witness the eternal beginnings of their family.

There are no words to describe the joy that this Momma felt.  Seeing my son, whom I worried about for so many years.  Whom I prayed for time after time after time for his happiness.  Whom I shed many a tear over and with during hard struggles.  Whom I watched become a Marine, a Man, a dedicated Father, and devoted Husband.  To see him kneel across a holy alter and pledge his devotion and eternal love and commitment to his sweetheart.  To watch as they brought beautiful Chloee in and add her to the eternal family sealing her to both her daddy and her mommy.  Well again, there are no words.  The best I can come up with is:  Pure, exquisite, sweet, peaceful joy.  Of course, there are more things experienced that are far too personal and sacred to share on a public blog, but they are seared in my soul forever and I thank God that He, as our Father in Heaven, loves us so much as to provide such experiences and privileges.

We enjoyed some pictures out on the temple grounds and then headed out for a celebratory dinner.

Chloee falling asleep mid spoonful of spumoni

Spaghetti Factory never disappoints

I wish to thank every single person - family and dear friends who were able to be with us, offered well wishes via call, text, email and facebook.  And especially dear to me are the well wishes from friends who are not of my faith, don't quite clearly know and understand all the things I talk about, but share in our happiness anyway.  I am such a blessed person to be surrounded by incredible people.

Monday was to be a legal day, but some circumstances came up that pushed the issue until July.  Instead, the day was spent running around gathering things for a party that I had promised my son if/when he went to the temple. : )

It was SO FUN!!!  Very casual, very low key, just plain fun!  And again, thanks to so many who came out to support us.  Many of them met Karalee for the very first time.  Some met Corbin for the very first time.  And the supportive comments that were passed along were just the cherry on top of the wonderful week!

I know, I know......two whole pictures?  Just two that I could get a hold of - Jon has a whole lot more and when I get some, I'll post them.  So many fun people and things!

Tuesday morning and goodbye's came way too soon.  I tried not to cry, and gratefully only Karalee saw me, but it literally broke my heart to watch them pull out of the driveway.

I know that what they are doing is good.  He is doing an honorable thing, and I love the fact that Corbin carefully explained to Chloee that they needed to fulfill their commitment and responsibility to the Marine's, but as soon as they could, they would come back to Utah.

As I closed the door behind them, and allowed myself to cry, I looked around at the chaos that my house was in.  Toys were scattered, Chloee's bed still pulled out, dishes in the sink (and Karalee kept cleaning but by that morning I made her stop), but the feelings as a Mom were overwhelming.

I went to bed, cried some more that they were gone and then reflected on the entire week or so that they were here.  Such happiness in such a short period of time. So many blessings.  So much support from friends and family.  The glow of joy in Corbin, Karalee, and Chloee's faces.  It was almost too much for my happy heart.

And now what?..........I guess we keep going on with life.  I do know that I could die happy right now.  Not that I'm planning on that by any means, but just the feeling of peace in my heart is such that if called home, I could go.

Congratulations to Corbin, Karalee and Chloee.  You did it!  You are an eternal family.  No one can take that away from you.  You've earned it and earned it righteously.

I am so happy for them.  Happy for their happiness.

I think my cup is running over........

And I'm feeling kinda squinky.........

Need to plug in the sarcasm button again!