I should be posting my next Christmas Tradition installment.
Or that great Marine poem my son sent me.
Or something Christmas-y and warm and fuzzy.
Can't. Can'.t do it. Got a phone call earlier tonight that the mother of my granddaughter, my son's ex-wife, my former DIL, took her own life. On Christmas eve.
I have been punched in the gut. I cannot think straight, or breath right. I can't get an image of her last moments out of my head.
Gonna be ignoring the blog for a little while. We have a 3 year old that needs my full attention. Arrangements needs to be made for her further custody and care. Our lives as we knew them, are turned upside down.
In.one.single.moment.
If you're the praying kind, I could use a few. 'dawg could use more. Sissy could use a lot.
For now, we move forward with Christmas as usual for a beautiful beloved angel girl.
For her Mother - Jillian - I know you have now found the peace that escaped you in this life. Know that your baby girl is safe, loved and will always be taken care of.
For my boys - including Splenda - time to step it up a notch, Sis needs us. I know I can count on you.
For my 'dawg, who at this moment is sitting alone in a hotel room in Southern California - know this......everything happens for a reason. God has his hand in our lives. Things will work out.
Finally, for myself, - I will take a little yellow pill now, go to sleep and start all over again tomorrow.
Peace.out.
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57 comments:
I am sitting here stunned, tears welling.
I am so sorry, Melissa.
I am the praying kind and my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family & your sweet Sissy & your Marine son.
Take care, know that you are loved and have all my support.
(hugs from me)
Wow! I'm so sorry! Will definitely keep y'all in my prayers.
I cannot even begin to find the words to tell you how terribly sorry I am for all of you. Please know that you are all most certainly in my prayers.
Melissa,
Such tragic news. I am so sorry.
So very sorry. My prayers WILL most definitely be with you and your sweet family.
You are loved.
My dear friend,
There are no words. I am so, so sorry. I know you were hoping to have custody of Sissy one day, but not this way. My heart breaks for all of you, but especially for Sissy. But I also know she is in the best of hands. You have all of our prayers and love and support. Love you.
I sucked the air out of the room! My heart is so sad for you nad your sweet family and especially your darling Sissy. Prayers and blessings for you all. ((hugs))
OMGosh---
I will text you later. I am so sorry. I have been through this before. Anything, you want me to do -- name it!
I love you. I am so sorry. Hold that baby tight.
Oh, my heart goes out to you and your family. Especially Sissy and to Dawg. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You are all in my prayers.
Oh Melissa, I am so sorry. Finding the right comforting words is impossible, please know that I'm thinking of you and your family. Praying too.
I love you. I love Chloee. I love your whole family. I am here for all of you. Always.
That is so terrible…I cant' even imagine what this must be like for you. Fingers crossed and prayers uttered...
You, your son, and your sweet Sissy are in our prayers.Our hearts and thoughts are with you.
M-Cat, you, your family, Sissy and dawg have all my prayers....
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Especially dear, sweet Sissy.
sending all the love I can muster<---Ive been saving it just for you!
My heart hurts for you. I am so sad and so sorry and I promise that you and yours will be in my thoughts and my prayers. Be strong!
hugs to you and your family your in my thoughts and prayers
Sending love and many, many prayers your way ...
You dont know me, but I enjoy reading your blog. Please know your sweet family will be in my thoughts and prayers. You will get through this. You're too amazing of a person not to.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. With Love . . .
Val, Wendy, and family!
Oh I am so sorry. My heart just breaks for you and my prayers are with you all. I know Sissy is in good hands. Take care, and love you lots.
Loralee
My thoughts are with you and all your family. I know that little girl will be smothered with love and that's what's important.
Sending kind and loving thoughts to you, your family and hers. Peace in life eludes some...prayers for all of you.
I am praying for your family.
M-Cat,
As always and forever you are in my heart and prayers. Times like these are extremely hard. Knowing that you are in my prayers wont cure the hurt but hopefully will help in the healing. Hugs from far away but still huge!
MaeRae
Oh my Gosh Melissa.....I came right over here as soon as I saw "trouble" on your facebook page that I was confused about. I just haven't been blogging for about a week.
I seriously felt my heart start to race as I read this.......felt that sickness in the pit of my stomach that is still so recently remembered from our tragedy.
I KNOW (in part...as every situation is a little different) WHAT YOU ARE FEELING.
This is so sad. WHY does life have to throw these storms into our lives.
I wish I were there to HUG you and HOLD you and do everything for you that everyone did for me.
I WILL PRAY for your family cause I KNOW how much that got me through everything. I KNOW.
Faith Endures.
I love you and will be holding you close to my heart the next while.
I am so, so sorry to hear about this awful tragedy. I know this is my first time here, but please know that your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Thinking of you and your family during this hard time. Lots of love and prayers.
Oh my. I am so sorry. Your granddaughter is so very lucky to have you, as is your son. Sending prayers and no worries about the blog thing.
My heart breaks for you and your family! I will for sure keep you in my prayers! ((Hugs))
I'm SO sorry Em! I can't even begin to imagine what your little family is going through and feeling right now. Such sadness! I'm keeping all of you in my prayers and sending my love! Monica
Sending love to all of you. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now.
no getting around the fact that there aren't words to describe this other than it SUCKS.
love you, melissa. i'm behind you all the way.
You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers since I read this a few days ago. It made my petty problems seem well petty. Good Luck and know that there are many people in many places sending you, Sissy, 'dawg, and the rest of your family prayers.
Oh my! I am so sorry! Dawg is always in my prayers and now all of you will be. Take care of yourself so you care take care of that precious little girl!
i left you a message. i hope you get it, though i'm sure there is so much going on and getting sorted out. remember i love you. and i mean it. i'm there in a hearbeat if you need me!
Oh, Melissa, I only just now saw this. My heart is breaking for everyone who knew and loved and needed that poor woman. Know that real prayers, and genuine love and support are being sent your way from your friends.
My dear, sweet friend! I have truly been out of the loop. Jamie had to tell me this morning when I got into work.
Words cannot express the tragedy of it all. I am here for you - whatever you need. Squeeze that little one tight. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
This is terrible. I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandbaby's Mama!!! Just know that another person is praying for you and your loved ones.
Shocked would be an understatement! I'm so very sorry for your whole family. Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers
I just emailed you.
I just can't get you off my mind, I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something more I could do.
I'm sorry Melissa. I don't usually comment on your blog, I just read. Your granddaughter is so lucky to have a grandma like you who can help her through this. You are strong and exactly what she needs right now. You're in my prayers!
Dear Anon,
Not sure what cult you are referring to?? Because if it is referring to religion, my daughter-in-law was clear with us that she did not believe the same fundamentals that we did. And we accepted anyway.
Seems like you might be lacking some understanding of the situation.
My deepest sympathy.
my sister is Lene @ embrace the chaos, has spoken of you so often. When she told me of your recent trial it broke my heart. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Janiece
Geez Anonymous. How do I follow that?
Still here and still thinking about you.
I am so, so sorry. Wow. So sorry. Your granddaughter (and son) are so lucky to have you. I will be praying for your entire family.
☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆ ★ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
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║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★ NEW YEAR ☆ 2011
╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ ♥￥☆★☆★☆￥♥ ★☆ ♥♥♥
May it bring much peace and happiness! ((hugs))
Awful. Just so, so awful. That poor little angel. What a blessing you are in her life. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. There are no words to say that will tell you how sorry I am.
You're all in my prayers. Especially little Chloee.
Oh, I'm just so sad about this.
I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said.
My prayers are with you all.
I am stunned by the pain that you all must be feeling. I, too, will be praying for you all. I wish there was more I could do.
I agree with what my mom said, Faith Endures.
I hope you and your family heal and can find peace in sweat little sissy.
I just saw this - I am so very sorry. I am so totally shocked that anyone would be so cruel to write anything negative to you about this.
Extra hugs and love to you and all your family.
Just read this. I am so so sorry M-Cat. I hope you are hanging in there. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Kelly
I'm so sorry. Had no idea you were going through this.
hugs and kisses coming your way as you make some important decisions.
I will be praying for your family.
Sissy is blessed to have you in her life. You will help her through this, and she will be the one that helps you through it.
God Bless your aching heart♥
I am shocked and saddened to read this -- and feeling really crappy I hadn't seen it sooner. I cannot even imagine the pain of having to explain this to a 3 year old. I bet you are holding everybody together in the face of this tragedy :-(
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