My Circles - do they include Enemies?

Had an interesting conversation with some of my YW the other night as we headed up the canyon.

We were talking about going back to school, their classes, friends, lockers, etc.  One girl made the comment that she was glad she didn't have any classes with any of her enemies from last year.

"Enemies"?  I was momentarily taken aback.  It seemed such a strong word, but I reminded myself that it's a common phrase with the young people these days. I don't like it.  Not one bit.

I carefully explained the Gospel of the Differing Circles of people in our lives (according to me).

Circle One:  The UBFF circle.  The Ultimate BFF.  The ones that you see and talk to every single day.  Maybe family in there, maybe just dearest, dearest friends.  Long time relationships that have seen highs and lows and weathered all the storms that life has thrown your way.  You share only your deepest secrets with these ones.

Circle Two:  The BFF circle.  Your besties, but you might not have daily contact.  It might be every other day, once a week, but you are still very close.  You share things, you keep secrets, you trust.  Every day life includes them in some way but not quite the level of the UBFF.  It might just be a quick text or even good thought about them.

Circle Three:  Acquaintance circle aka AQ circle  People you interact with regularly, but aren't super close.  Exchange pleasantries, maybe do things together in a group setting. You see them at the gym, chit chat here and there, maybe at the water cooler at work.  You know a little bit about their lives and they yours, but other than your general exposure to them (work, gym, church, school hall), that's about it.  Maybe a comment or two on FB.  Not much beyond that.

Circle Four:  People you Pass circle - or the PUP circle.  They are exactly that.  People you pass.  They are faces in a crowd.  You have no ill feelings towards them, you have no feelings in general towards them other than they are a person deserving of respect by the fact that they are human being.  You might not even know their name.  They are just people who happen to take space in the same area as you at any given time.

So where do enemies fit in?  What constitutes an enemy?  Good question.  Let's think about the circles.

A person in the PUP circle can always move up into the AQ circle and from there, over time into the BFF circle and even perhaps, after a great deal of time and trust into the UBFF circle.  There's always room to move up.  But what about someone who was in one of the upper circles, but has violated the trust.  The bond.  Has crossed a line.  Rang a bell that can't be unrung.  What to do with them?  They are too toxic for the UBFF or BFF circles, and maybe even the AQ circle.  I guess that leaves them in the PUP circle.

Important lesson:  Even in the PUP circle - there are no ill feelings.  They just become people you pass.  That is where the "enemies" would fit.  But since that is your PUP circle, no need to call them or refer to them as enemies - they are just in your PUP circle.  No more enemies.

The girls seemed to understand what I was telling them and we left it at that.  I, however, have been thinking about it ever since.

Over time, our circles change don't they?  People come and go in our lives.  At one point, they might very well be in the UBFF, but either distance or circumstances  relegates them to a different circle.  Is there anything wrong with that?  I don't think so.  I think it's the normal ebbs and flows of life.

How do my circles pan out?

(not necessarily to scale)

I have a good size UBFF circle.  Maybe larger than most folks simply because I adore people, talking, sharing, and once I get a good trust vibe, I tend to let them into the most inner sanctum.

My BFF circle?  Humongous!  HUGE!  Literally, there are so many people that I refer to as my BFF's and I really mean it.  Again, it goes back to that whole "love people" issue.

My AQ circle would be substantial but not as large as my BFF circle.  You would think it's the other way around, but I tend to suck people into my web of BFF's.  Probably all one-sided on my part, but I feel strongly about things one way or the other, not much middle road for me.  AQ circle is kind of middle of the road.

My PUP circle is much smaller.  Much.Smaller.  There are very few people that I meet and don't immediately like.  Or it might include someone who had been in an upper circle and for some reason, slipped to my PUP circle.

And why all the introspective thinking about this?  It goes back to that word enemies.  I don't like it.  Not one bit.  I like to identify where people fit in my life.  Is it labeling?  Nah - just categorizing for explanations sake to my YW - help them understand that in our circles - there is no room for enemies.  Everyone has a place in our lives.  A positive place.

Every circle is good in it's own way.