Friday, March 20, 2009

Funny Bone Friday - Things I may have heard, or said, or just thought in my head



1. "You keep me around just for the fun I bring to dysfunctional."

2. "My man flaps keep getting in the way."

3. "I'm one big quivering mess."

4. "My ass is so sore, it's braying."

5. "Oh look, it's a dream-catcher that she's woven with her own hair."

6. "If you ever want to completely destroy your self-esteem, just strip naked in front of the mirror, turn around and squeeze. Guaranteed to annihilate your sense of self worth and place you in the fetal position for weeks on end."

7. "Did you tell her that our "hoods" really had points at the top and slits for the eyes?"

8. "Fitness? No, I'm not into that. I think it's a bunch of crap."
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14 comments:

  1. hoLLyMarch 20, 2009 at 9:39 AM

    #6 almost made me wet myself. HILARIOUS. and true. my self esteem is now gone. thanks a lot. :)

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  2. Trevor, Brianna, Alivia, Tayvree, and Avynlee HansenMarch 20, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    that dream catcher one is pretty funny! :D lol!

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  3. Jen's FarmilyMarch 20, 2009 at 12:09 PM

    Fitness IS a bunch of crap!!

    And a braying ass is no laughing matter...

    ReplyDelete
  4. ErinMarch 20, 2009 at 4:04 PM

    I love #4!

    And yeah, fitness is definitely a bunch of crap.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just SOMarch 20, 2009 at 4:08 PM

    That dream catcher sounds lovely. Does she sell them on etsy?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kristina P.March 20, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    The ass one is hilarious!!

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  7. rychelleMarch 20, 2009 at 4:27 PM

    love #5. wish you would have taken a photo for the blog!

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  8. tammyMarch 20, 2009 at 4:46 PM

    I had to Google braying. It was either that or have Tib do it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. JanMarch 20, 2009 at 8:24 PM

    Seriously. Do these just roll off of your tongue Melissa. Hysterical.

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  10. BeccaMarch 20, 2009 at 11:06 PM

    Braying ass...that's my all time favorite!

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  11. kado!March 21, 2009 at 7:27 AM

    I like to tell myself NOONE is above the #6 one...it at least makes me feel better about myself....how can ALL those hours at the gym still not quite make EVERYTHING perfect???!!!???!!!????????

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  12. nikkicrumpetMarch 21, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    man flaps??? I'm not even sure what those are. #6...ain't gonna do it...I'm just not that strong. And fitness IS a bunch of crap which would explain why I ain't doing #6

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  13. Martha H.March 21, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    Seriously love it when you come up with these and then let out a snort in the process.

    I think I about wet myself when we were talking about #5.

    ReplyDelete
  14. tiburonMarch 24, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    You really do put the fun in dysfunctional.

    ReplyDelete

Lay it on me....