1. "Kicking my own a** just ISN'T as fun."
2. "Make.the.jig.a.ling.stop!"
3. "Oh look what I've done now, I've planted the amaryllis root side up! My own level of stupidity frightens even me."
4. Dude, you don't have two brains cells to rub together, you think you're gonna get one of my prized babies? I think, nay I know, NOT!
5. I may come home to a dead Purdy? huh? wha??
6. "what part of BACK OFF, I'M STARVIN MAN!" do you not understand?
7. "You missed my Hallelujah chorus, I am SOOO getting a contract."
8. "Does "shriveled like a frightened turtle" mean anything to you?"
9. "I just peed a little."
10. "You realize son, that this is your ONE mulligan with the police."
I noticed you're getting more comments. Maybe the little rant actually worked. Good job! Why aren't you here today? You're gone, Karen's gone, Jamie's gone. I feel so alone. (weeping, weeping, weeping...)
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I think I just peed a little too.
ReplyDeleteHere's the info on the rehab: http://www.turningpointcenters.com/
It really is one of the best around. Not just a detox. They work on your mind and help you figure out why you do what you do. From the pics it looks like a resort. I'm thinking of faking an addiction to get to go there.
I must hear more about number 10!
ReplyDeleteI think I may have just pee'd a little bit too! What funny, funny randomness!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, sorry it's taken me a bit to get back over. These holidaze are wearing on me!
I'll be back for sure!