"No, I don't want to feel your bump, but thanks."
"Please, please, please can we go to Cancun....'cmon, I'll even show you my good boob."
"I don't think we should have puppies named BJ and Hummer in the same litter."
Does the very large, rather unattractive woman on the bike next to me realize that she is not only singing out loud, but OFF KEY?! "...whiskey....kittens....." huh?? what??
"My self esteem is officially in the crapper, I think I'll go kick my own ass on the elliptical."
"I'm infested with fleas"
"I can't believe all that's happened just by having sex once with a crazy person."
"Mom, Dad - are you up for some poker?"
I would like to see your good boob.
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