Celebrating Mother's Day with the Covid in 2020

Gah!  Stupid Cornonavirus!  Stupid Covid-19! 
Here we are 3 months into the isolation/quarantine/social distancing world and now it's Mother's Day.  What to do?  Lately, I'm only mothering Miss Maggie May.

Let me preface, as a young mother, I HATED Mother's day.  I've never been one for sugary sweet emotions and lovey, cheesy crap.  Don't get me wrong, I'm overly affectionate and a hugger that can be obnoxious but all the flowery, butterflies that tend to come with Mother's day makes me very anxious and uncomfortable.  Raising my children, I always felt like I was sucking at it all the time.  Every night in bed, I would feel such overwhelming guilt about how the day went.  Yelling, threatening, fighting, grumpiness....  I would want to throw up and beg God to make my children forget it all and help me be better the next day.  And then, rinse repeat.  I always felt like I didn't measure up to all the things the world was telling me that a good mother should be.  I worked full time, I had little patience, I dealt with my own anxiety in a horrible way and I always felt like I was a terrible example to my boys.  Oh the swear words!!  I wasn't close to my own mother during those years so I was forging on my own and in my mind doing a class A shitty job.  Sadly, going to church always enhanced my feelings of guilt, so I often made excuses to skip that week.

And then they grew up and went about their own lives.  I watched them turn into amazing men.  In their own individual ways they are stellar human beings doing good things with their lives.  They have become father's to their own children and I am amazed at how damn good they are at it!  Of course, they had the best example in their own dad, but I'll save that for Father's day.  In spite of my own shit show of a mother, they turned out to be incredible people!

I still feel guilt.  There are things I would certainly change if I had to do it all over again, but I also realized that all mothers suffer these same feelings.  We all feel inadequate and that we are in way over our heads, but we muddle through hoping for the best.  I came to realize that I can't change a thing and that through it all I  loved my children more than my own life.  Even if I didn't communicate it very well, I LOVED them.  I can live with that.  And,the fact that I can help pay for their therapy too.

This weekend, I was grateful that my kids wanted to come over and we got very creative in how we did it.

Thankfully, I have children that are flexible and willing to adapt.  We staggered visits between Saturday and Sunday so that we could see all the kids and grands, keep our distance and limit the risk of infection.  I would be crushed if any of them got sick because of me or Splenda Daddy.

Saturday afternoon Corbin and his girls came for lunch.  The weather was perfect so we sat on the deck catching up, jumping on the tramp and riding the 4 wheeler.  All things that we tend to do when the family is together.  All memories that I hope imprint on my grandkids.

Later, Preston brought his girls and hung out for awhile.  They were so excited!  They love sleep overs and coming over and it's been hard to not have our usual time together.  They loved doing all their favorite things.

We took some flowers to Dave's mom.  She is in an assisted living center and she is on lock down, but gratefully she has a balcony and we can chat outside.

I sent some Crumbl cookies to my Mom so we didn't risk anything with her.  I asked her to send a selfie with her cookies.  This is so classic her.  I love it!  I love her.  And I especially love how our relationship has become what it is.

Felt like I should post the latest pic we have together since she doesn't selfie very well.

Sunday, Luke and Mindy came with their boys and again, the weather was perfect so we had some fun outside and the boys loved playing with all their favorite things.

Such a perfect weekend!  I was able to Marco Polo  Karalee and Montana so I did get a chance to connect with every single one of my children.  I couldn't have asked for a better Mother's day during the pandemic.  Hopefully next year, we might all be on a lovely vacation together.  I can hope but for now, this was perfection.

I know longer hate Mother's day. I don't embrace it and  I still feel guilt but I suppose that's just the way it is.  Maybe the guilt is there to remind me to love them that much harder. 
Even if they are grown ass men.

A little follow up to our amazing day at Mountain Point Medical center with Hoka One One

Check this out.  Our videographer was fantastic!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PCtZzB0JuXJTMDkMOEOe8rfTMXk8JIwC/view?usp=sharing

Mad Moose and the Triple Crown

Since my car accident a little over 9 weeks ago, subsequent broken foot, I haven't been able to run.  When the doctor told me it would be at least 4 months before I'd be able to, I was devastated.  Telling me that there would be no running is like telling me I can't breathe anymore.  It's every part of me. It's my happy thing.  It helps keep my anxiety under control.  It's like water, necessity for my human sustainment.  I informed her that I had a 50k in four weeks so her answer wasn't acceptable.  She laughed.

This particular race was one I was looking forward to SO much!  My running tribe of besties had signed up for the Triple Crown an event hosted by Mad Moose events and held in Moab.  We had done one of their races the year before and were so impressed with their race event that this made total sense.  We did the first in the trio in November of  2019 - a 50 miler - Dead Horse Ultra.  Our first 50 miler!  It was beautiful, the aid stations were awesome, the volunteers stellar, it was perfect!

We went back in January to do Arches Ultra.  This time was just the 50k.  It was a awful.  Not because of anything the race directors had control over, it was just mucky, muddy, slushy and cold.  The last 5 miles were a death march for me but I kept telling myself that it would be worth it because once I was done, I would only have one more race in March (when it would be warmer) and I'd have that Triple Crown!

Early Februrary, I booked our hotel rooms and I was excited for March, Moab and running in the red dirt.  Bam.  Accident.  Broken foot.  Covid.  Sadly, the race directors had to cancel the race and Moab literally closed.  If you did not live there, you could not go there.  That was very disheartening since Mad Moose offered their runners to run it virtually, they could even do the race route, they just couldn't support it nor endorse it.  We had still planned on going down, I'd just hang out in the hotel, while they ran. Nope.  Moab essentially shut their doors.

So doing the race virtually was still an option and my friends planned a day to go out to Antelope Island and get the 31 miles done.  I was having the most horrific and long, drawn out pity party you could think of.  I couldn't even walk let alone run.  I had a knee scooter and would for the next foreseeable future.  I felt so crushed.  On a whim, I reached out the race directors and told them my situation.  I had paid for the Triple Crown and really, really wanted a way to earn it.  I proposed getting the 50k done on my knee scooter.  I wouldn't be able to do it all in one day, but would that be an acceptable deal?  

They were SO kind!  I could get as little as 10 miles in a certain time frame and I would qualify. So off I went! I wasn't just going to do 10 miles by the deadline, but I was going to get the whole 31 miles.  Every day I went out on my knee scooter.  Sometimes with my little Maggie along, sometimes with Splenda Daddy, but mostly by myself.  I would do as many miles in a a single outing as my knee could take. I forced myself up hills, and then fought the challenge to keep control going back down.  I have to say, doing in on the knee scooter was harder than if I could have just run it out on my own two legs.

I emailed the RD's to let them know I was done.  I also inquired about buying more sticker since when my car was totaled, I lost all the cool stickers I had on the windows.  I offered to buy them and they directed  to their on-line store, I just hadn't taken the time to do it.  Today, my happy mail arrived!!  Not just the swag for the Triple Crown, but stickers too!

I can't thank Justin and Denise enough for being so gracious to me.  They truly do know how to put on a race event.  They've become my favorite for the trail races that I love!  Mad Moose events is stellar and I can't say enough good about them!

This Covid crap is really putting the sting into the racing community.  Not just the disappointment of the runners when events have to be canceled, but the race directors and event planners as well.  They lose thousands of dollars when races have to be canceled.   Sure big ones like Boston can reschedule, but for local events it's impossible. My heart goes out to them. They are a business just like others. and they are getting hit just like the rest. The problem is, I don't think there is stimulus money or small business loans for them.  They have to eat it and pray that this ends soon and that next season is successful.

One thing I do know is that with gyms being closed and people in self isolation, I've seen a lot of new folks getting into running.  That has to bode well right?

And I'll be back.  I don't know when, but I will.  And I'll be back with a vengeance.